


Lily Luna Potter and the Younger World

by aforallyyyyyyx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action/Adventure, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Fantasy, Harry Potter Next Generation, Horcrux Hunting, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Other, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Under the Influence of Horcruxes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2018-10-21 23:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 26,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10684917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aforallyyyyyyx/pseuds/aforallyyyyyyx
Summary: Lily Luna Potter, the last living child of Harry, is in for the ride of a (second lifetime) when she meets the ghost of Remus Lupin in the Forbidden Forest after dying in 2016. Her mission- to masquerade as her father's "sister" in what would be his third year at Hogwarts, and kill Voldemort while she's at it. Read as she rushes against the clock to get all seven horcruxes and save her family in the future from breaking apart.





	1. The Chance in the Storm

“Oh come on, Jamie!” A little girl’s voice called.

The boy in question, a seventeen year old by the name of James Sirius Potter, rolled his brown eyes, his dark hair blowing in the wind- of course it was, it had a mind of it’s own.

“No! I’ll keep saying it- my answer is no.” He quickly turned around again, striding down the hill with speed the little girl could never dream in a million years to have.

“Jamie! Wait for me!” The small girl struggled to keep her footing as another gust of wind screamed loudly, howling down the hill and up again in agony.

“Stop calling me _Jamie_ , Lily,” James shouted up the hill, angry. “It’s _James_. We went over this several times already.” He said darkly, losing his sister in the rain.

There was a pause, but it wasn’t silent. The hair on James’ head was no longer blowing everywhere- it was himself that was blown instead.

James and Lily’s father had told them to not be on the moors during a storm. When they moved to Wales eight years ago, Lily had only been three years old, and James nine.

But James was older now, and more wise. Or possibly less- Lily didn’t know, but she knew she could trust her brother through everything, which was why she had come to the moor with him.

The mist was rolling in along with the rain that nearly drowned her hair and hurt her ears- the thundering of the water against the already soaked moor was louder than a lion’s roar.

Another clap of thunder made the little girl scream with shock, and she knew she was in danger now. She and her brother were the only things on the hills for miles and miles- and the tallest things, certainly.

 _But they weren’t the only things for miles and miles,_ Lily realized suddenly. Their house was- _where was their house?_

The limited visibility made her heart pound. She could only see what was one foot in front of her. Lily’s scream was dissolved by the wind, shouting her brother’s name in her loudest voice possible- his real name. He wouldn’t come for her otherwise.

“James!” She called, and if you looked at her at that moment, you couldn’t tell the rainwater from the tears on her face.

Her hair was flat against her body, her clothes too. She shivered, her teeth chattering so hard she thought they might fall out.  
      
“James, help me!” Lily cried out again, and she suddenly knew that she had lost him, like their father had lost her mother, and like James had lost Albus, who was alive just before Lily was.  
      
She didn’t know them, but Lily knew that James loved them very much, just as much as he loved their mother and father. Lily had barely known her, before they were ripped away from each other, separated by a bright green curse- the curse that had taken James’ siblings, too.    

Her father, Harry, told Lily that they had been her mother and brother, too, but James didn’t agree. She watched her brother get scolded and shouted at when he said this, and the next day, their father sat in his room, staring at the wall.  
      
No amount of pleading would ever get him out of his trances.  
      
Lily couldn’t afford to be distracted now. She wanted to give up, the sudden hopelessness surrounding her conscience. The smaller, humble house they lived in seemed ages away, and it was not like she could see it, anyway.  
      
The negativity was something that Lily did not like, however. She fought against the wind, following and calling for James. It would be hours before she would feel anything again- it was too cold outside.  
      
The howling wind and the freezing rain took most of her energy, draining her of life. She wanted to know when the storm would end.  
      
“James, I’m s-sorry!” She whispered, sinking to the ground, too tired to carry on, “I’m sorry, daddy!” With her last words in mind, she held her necklace close, the one thing she had been told to protect.   
      
The single, midnight-purple stone, attached to the chain, was warm, warmer than Lily had ever felt in her life.  
      
“Mum?” Lily whispered, “Fred?”  
      
Seeing no one, her heart pumping slower by the second, she closed her eyes for the last time.      
  


* * *

  
  
The forest floor was cool to the touch, not cold. Lily was not cold anymore. Rising steadily, she realized that she was wearing nothing but a thin nightie.   
      
Lily was alone in the woods. The trees were tall, endless, and with no light in sight, except above her own head. A wonderful domed glass roof sat, well above where any of the tree tops were.   
      
Everything was still- and Lily could not hear anything except her own breath. It seemed quite a relief after the wind had stopped.   
      
“I’m afraid,” Lily’s voice came out higher than she expected, but certain, “This is not a forest, I can tell by the ceiling. You’ve done a good job, although there aren’t any animals. Where is the life? Where are the animals? So, I suppose I’m afraid, and also I’m lonely.”  
      
“You do not need to be frightened.”  
      
Lily whirled around, her green eyes nervous. A man that she had never seen before was walking toward her, wearing modest brown wizarding robes.  
      
“Lily Luna Potter,” He said, holding out his hand, “I am Remus John Lupin.”  
      
The formalities were making her nervous. She took a step back, her gaze guarded, “How am I supposed to know that? Daddy told me that you were only a story,” She added.

Remus furrowed his brow in concern, “I’m not a story, Lily. The Wars were not stories.”

“Fred tells me this all the time,” She continued, ignoring the man, “And James, too. He says that father is lying to protect me, but I think he says they’re make-believe because he’s protecting himself.”    

Remus sighed, his brown eyes sad. The feeling slowly disappeared, leaving a blow to his heart that would surely bruise, “Your father is hurting,” Remus said after a pause, “And that does not mean he can lie to you. I’m sure he knows that. Why don’t you take a walk with me?”  
      
Lily stayed grounded, “I’m not supposed to-”  
      
“Talk to strangers?” Remus allotted dryly, “I’m not going to hurt you- it seems as if your father already has.”  
      
“I can see that,” bristled Lily, “But that doesn’t mean that I’ll walk with you.”  
      
Remus recoiled, “Come,” He said again, taking her hand, “You don’t want to go that way yet, I haven’t even-”  
      
Lily suddenly began to cry, the full realization finally hitting her.  
      
“I’m dead, aren’t I?” She whispered, her hazel-brown eyes startlingly blank.  
      
Remus closed his eyes for a moment, “I’m sorry,” He began, freezing on the inside when he noticed her change of expression. It was so childlike, but so happy.  
      
“It’s okay,” Lily nodded, and Remus almost fainted, “Father once told me that everyone he cared about was dead,” Her voice sounded accepting, “And if I am, too, then he might finally..”  
      
“Stop,” Remus interrupted Lily as he was given a hug, “That’s.. That’s horrible.. I never..”  
      
“James would be-” Lily began again, but Remus silenced her.  
      
“James is in a room much like this one,” He commented, feeling sorrowful, “And so is your father, somewhere.”  
      
“My-” Lily stammered, “He died in the storm, too?”   
      
Remus shook his head, “No, Lily. Time ceases to exist where we are. It only runs when you choose to leave this place, one way or another.”  
      
“How do I leave?”  
      
“Lily, this is a very important decision. You are only eleven years of age. By choosing to move on may bring you to the others-”  
      
“What’s the other option?”   
      
Remus looked troubled, “You may decide to forgive.”  
      
“What?” Lily became confused, but Remus stayed silent.  
      
“I will leave you to make a choice,” He said finally, and evaporated into the mist.  
    


	2. The Smallest Potter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly, all fanfictions must have a little bit of that cringy canon. I wrote this a year ago, so I apologize.

Lily soon became tired of the forest- the _forest_ , in which, she had found the stone in a dream. She was almost certain it was a dream, but how could one dream of someone she’d never met before?    

Remus Lupin was a person she’d never expected to greet her. He had given her a choice- go on or _forgive_. But weren’t those the same thing?  
      
He seemed surprised at her father’s treatment of the eleven year old, but Lily was not any little girl. She had lost what she never could remember, which made the choice even more difficult.  
      
Was she to join her mother and Albus? Abandon James and her father? Or would she _forgive_ , without knowing who she was forgiving?  
      
An uncertain future lay ahead of her, either way. 

Feeling very scared again, Lily took one last look at the Forbidden Forest, and quickly spoke, or else she would have been there forever, “I would like to… to know my father and mother in a different way. I don’t want to go back, but I don’t want to move on- it’s too early for that. I wish to save him from his madness, and everyone else who shouldn’t be here.”  
  
Closing her eyes, fixated on her goal, she realized that most decision making were for the brave and bold.

* * *

 

  
Lily was suddenly very, very cold again. She jolted upwards, almost hitting her head on the slanted roof- a slanted roof? No, a staircase, then.  
  
“Up, up, up!” A shrill voice, accompanied by a rapping noise startled Lily’s already fast-beating heart. It appeared that she was in a sort of cupboard- but _no_.  
      
This could not be the cupboard from her father’s stories, could it?   
  
_Of course it was,_ Lily thought feverishly, recalling her choice; the decision she had made in the lifeless forest.   
      
“Get up, you ungrateful girl!” The door to the small cupboard was unlocked, and Lily winced at the light of the day- blindingly bright after the little space with no window.  
      
She wasn’t surprised at the treatment she had been given. After assessing her body, Lily had found several bruises, burns, and scars. None of them appeared to be accidental- and while her dark hair was long, it seemed unkempt and unwashed. Dull hazel eyes stared back at her from the half-bath on the first floor’s sink, just like she had expected them to be.  
      
“Breakfast,” ordered Petunia Dursley, a thin, horse-faced woman, who looked as though she had swallowed a lemon as Lily turned the bathroom lights off as she exited.   
      
Almost a half hour later, an English Breakfast lay out on the table, just waiting for the worthy of the household to eat. Lily didn’t dare take anything that she had made herself, wanting to not draw attention, or even do something wrong.  
      
A sleepy-faced, overweight, sweaty blond-haired boy entered the kitchen, his large footfalls stopping as he sat down in a chair. Watching him curiously, Lily was surprised to see that the seat remained strong. She had half-expected it to break.  
      
Dudley Dursley inhaled the food the minute it was even close to his plate. He didn’t acknowledge Lily in any way, and instead, shoved her aside to get more milk, complaining about the lack of it.  
      
If it was even possible, an even larger man plodded into the kitchen, ignoring Lily altogether. _This must be Vernon,_ she thought as she self-consciously rubbed her arm, where she had been thrown against the counter by Dudley.  
      
The next to enter made Lily want to cry for joy. Being stuck alone with the family that her father had loathed so much was bad, but being stuck with the family that her father hated with her father made it even better.  
      
A very, very, young (twelve or thirteen, perhaps?) Harry Potter sat down silently between Uncle Vernon and Dudley, helping himself to a piece of toast. Her father looked only two years older than Lily herself. He seemed half-awake, as he looked up at the television with little care, which to Lily’s dismay, was actually located in the kitchen.  
  
“…the public is warned that Black is armed and extremely dangerous..” The newscaster on the screen continued, and Lily’s head snapped up with interest.  
      
Sirius Black was another character in the stories.   
      
“Useless rubbish,” sniffed Aunt Petunia, “Of course he’s no good- look at his hair!”   
      
Lily’s eyes were stuck on the glaring man on the television. From what she could see, the supposed “mass-murderer”, Sirius Black, looked very much the part of a dangerous convict. His matted black hair was long and lacked care- much like hers. Lily also found similarities in their pale, gaunt skin, even though it wasn’t exactly clear that she had been starved, herself.  
      
From looking at the stilled-muggle photograph, she felt very well-groomed in comparison. Blinking as the newscaster reappeared, she set to clear the empty plates.  
      
“Happy birthday, da- er, Harry,” She said softly, just as she gazed at the calendar- 31st July, 1993, on the refrigerator. He flashed her a smile, but it quickly fell away, as Uncle Vernon’s and Aunt Petunia’s rant about hanging prisoners drew to a close.  
      
“Aunt Marge?” blurted Harry, “She’s coming here?”  
      
Lily had heard about the woman. Stifling a giggle, she finished the dishes quickly, recalling all she could about the large woman.  
      
Like Vernon, Marge Dursley was quite overweight. She liked alcohol, and bred bulldogs for a living. Each visit, according to her father’s depressing tones, were the bane of his childhood.  
      
“Marge’ll be here for a week,” Vernon snarled, “And while we’re on the subject,” he pointed a fat finger threateningly at Harry, and then to Lily, “We need to get a few things straight before she gets here.”  
      
Her attention was back to Uncle Vernon, who scared her quite a bit. He went on to explain that “as Marge doesn’t know anything about your abnormality, I don’t want any,” and then looked at Lily, a strange look on his face as he said, “If you let anything slip, then mark my words, girl, you will get last Summer.”  
      
Paling considerably, feeling confused, Lily took a step back. Harry looked at her, concerned, as he said firmly, “We’ll behave, Uncle.”  
      
She seemed to let out the air she was holding as Vernon left the house to collect his sister. Harry pulled her up to his bedroom, the smallest of the four. One of them belonged to Dudley, the other Petunia and Vernon’s, and the other a guest, mainly for Marge and her dogs.  
      
“I still don’t see why they keep you in the cupboard,” said Harry as they sat down on the bed, “You and I could always share.”  
      
Lily gave a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.   
      
“Look, I’m sorry about these past summers,” Harry continued, moving closer, and Lily felt comfortable enough to lean next to him as he pulled out a red photo album, “For leaving you with them. I was so excited about Hogwarts- it kind of overshadowed anything else.”  
      
“Even your...own sister?” whispered Lily, and the words that came out of her mouth shocked her. She hadn’t known how to respond, and yet she did.  
      
Harry opened the photo album, stopping on who Lily knew to be Lily Potter I, her grandmother, and James Potter I, her grandfather. In seconds, she stopped looking at them in that way, however, as a few tears fell from her eyes that were so much like her mother’s- Ginny’s, not James Potter I’s.  
      
“I can’t believe you’re coming to Hogwarts this year, though,” Harry said, changing the subject as he scribbled a note to his friend, Ronald Weasley, whom Lily had never met in her first life- at least, she didn’t remember meeting the man who was supposed to be her uncle, only on her mum’s side.  
      
That life was long gone by now.  
      
Lily watched as Harry’s snowy owl, Hedwig, flew out of the window and away, until she fell out of sight. Both were beginning to feel very miserable as the now-empty cage was put into the wardrobe.   
      
But soon enough, Aunt Petunia’s shrieking up the stairs interrupted their brooding. Lily hung close to Harry's side as they walked down the stairs, wishing that she could stay in the cupboard- anything, she would give, to not be with their new guest.  
      
“Fix your hair,” Aunt Petunia snapped at Harry, and then turned to yell at Lily, “And fix that eye of yours!”   
      
Glaring at the floor, knowing that it was most likely Petunia who gave her the mark on her face, Lily moved aside when the beefy and purple-faced woman came inside the house, along with her apparent favorite dog, Ripper.   
      
“Where’s my Dudders?” roared Aunt Marge, thrusting a suitcase at Harry, who had the wind knocked out of him. She seized the waddling blonde- also known as Dudley- and planted a large, wet kiss on his cheek.  
      
Dinner was not a much better affair. Harry and Lily were forced to sit by Petunia, who clearly did not want Marge to think that they were being mistreated (not that she would look one way or the other).   
      
In addition, Lily witnessed a drunk Aunt Marge for nearly three nights in a row, before Aunt Petunia told her to go to sleep in Harry’s room, where she tried to sleep on the floor, until Harry came to bed and refused to let her sleep anywhere but in the twin-sized bed, either alone, or next to him.  
      
Lily didn’t care, either way, but she woke up with nightmares on the fourth night of Marge’s visit. She had felt terribly guilty for waking Harry up as well, but he just asked what they were about, with no other questions.  
      
“This Potter,” said Aunt Marge loudly one night, nearly sloshing more brandy on the tablecloth, “You never told me what he did?”  
      
“He - didn’t work,” Uncle Vernon replied throatily, clutching his glass with his meaty hands, “Unemployed.”  
      
“As I expected! A no-account, good-for-nothing, lazy scrounger drunkard who-”  
      
“That’s a lie!” cried Lily all of a sudden, who had been silent up until that moment. Harry looked angrier than he had ever felt in his life,  and Lily wasn’t far behind.  
      
“He was not!” Harry said, “Our dad wasn’t a drunk!”  
      
Aunt Marge laughed, as Uncle Vernon feverishly refilled her glass with more brandy. She gazed her beady eyes on Lily, looking her up and down, then moving to Harry. Both children could barely tip a scale sopping wet, and that didn’t help them one bit in her judgement.  
      
“No, Vernon,” The fat woman placed her glass on the floor, where Ripper the bulldog started to lap it up sloppily, “Go on, boy. Proud of your parents, aren’t you? I bet your damn sister gets everything from you, tell me, then. They get themselves killed in a car crash (drunk, no doubt)-”  
      
“They didn’t die in a car crash!” Harry exclaimed, jumping up. Lily stood slightly behind him, glowering at the disrespectful woman that they were forced to call their aunt.   
      
The lights started to flicker, and Marge Dursley’s glass exploded in her hand. Slowly, she began to swell, and before Lily knew it, she and Harry were on Magnolia Crescent, her barely teenage father's trunk in tow.


	3. Safety At the Cauldron

Harry and Lily were nearing a park. It marked the end of Magnolia Crescent- which meant that they really had nowhere else to go. As Lily looked around anxiously, thinking of the possibilities of trouble they could be in at that moment, she spotted something in the bushes- or rather, someone.  
  
“At least a street’s better than a cupboard,” said Lily quietly, feeling the cold already.   
      
Harry examined her with concern, “Are you sure you’re okay? Uncle Vernon pushed you into the banister pretty hard..”  
      
“I’m okay,” Lily dismissed, her arm going to her ribs, her eyes focused on the bushes across the street, “Did you see something? There,” she pointed suddenly, as two glittering eyes peered out from the hedge.  
      
Harry looked closer, lighting his wand up, but before they could get any closer, a double-decker, midnight-purple-bus appeared in front of the siblings with a deafening BANG, sending whatever they had seen scurrying away.  
      
“Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard,” A young man, looking no more than eighteen or nineteen ran through an obvious script easily, “..My name is Stan Shunpike, and I will be your conductor for this eve-”  
      
The man stopped short, seeing Lily’s tentative expression and Harry, who was still sitting on the ground.   
      
“What were you doing down there?” said Stan, his tone incredulous. 

* * *

 

  
Overall, the trip on the Knight Bus was not the most spectacular- in fact, Lily had been thrown around by the harsh movements several times, but still very fun.  
      
Harry had told Stan Shunpike that his name was Neville Longbottom, getting a nod from Lily, who told them that her name was Luna Lovegood. Harry didn’t, however, recognize the name, nor did the conductor, which made it all the better for her.  
      
On the way, they had obtained a wizarding newspaper- the first they’d gotten all summer. A strange feeling of guilt twisted her chest when Lily read the headline of the present Daily Prophet- Black Still at Large. Somehow, her father told her during her first life that Sirius Black was indeed innocent, and framed by Peter Pettigrew, a rat animagus, who used to belong to her Uncle Ron as a pet.   
      
“There you are, Harry,” said a voice.  
      
Lily had been facing the conductor, still, thanking him for taking them to the Leaky Cauldron, which she knew was in Diagon Alley. She was excited, because it was her very first year of Hogwarts, and also her very first introduction to the wizarding world.  
      
She turned around to see a man that hadn’t been mentioned often- 1993’s Minister of Magic. She could sense Harry’s panic, but he did well to hide it.  
      
“And young Lily Potter, as well, of course,” Cornelius Fudge greeted the siblings cordially, “Step inside, step inside..”

Ignoring Stan’s gawking of, “Blimey! That’s ‘Arry Potter!” the Minister led them inside the Leaky Cauldron, to an empty room on the second floor.

“Sit down, Harry,” said Fudge as he indicated to a chair, taking off his pinstripe coat and green bowler hat. The hearth of the fire made Lily sigh in relief- even in near August, she got rather cold.  
  
Fudge introduced himself to Harry, who didn’t look surprised at all at his name. The Minister then looked pointedly at Lily, as if he expected her to leave.  
      
“Minister, that’s my sister you’re looking at. Wherever she goes, I go,” said Harry, patting a spot next to him in the giant armchair.   
      
Pursing his lips, Fudge said nothing as Lily slid next to Harry, feeling exhausted. The innkeeper, Tom, showed up, holding a tray of tea and crumpets, which he placed on the table, then proceeded to leave the parlor.   
      
“Well, Harry,” Fudge poured himself some tea, “You gave us all quite a scare, running away from your aunt and uncle’s house like that- very irresponsible! And dragging your young sister along, too, you should know better.. I’d started to think that… but you’re safe, and that’s what matters.”  
      
Lily soon found herself not paying attention. She would have liked to go to sleep in the armchair, but she fought to stay awake as their conversation continued.   
      
“Room eleven’s free, Harry,” informed Fudge, “I would suggest your sister in a different room, but with Black on the loose, I’d think you’d want to keep her close. I’ll have Tom set up a cot.”  
      
Even with the promise of a room, Harry still kept asking questions. Lily had leant up against him tiredly, giving up on staying alert. It was clear, as bumbling and uneducated as Cornelius Fudge was, she wasn’t in any immediate danger.  
      
She was half-aware as Harry avoided the cot all together, and instead, steering Lily toward the huge bed, not even bothering to remove their shoes (or in Harry’s case, glasses) before they slumped back onto the pillows and fell asleep.  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Roaming Diagon Alley

The next morning, Lily awoke excited and aware. Harry was up not long after, and she begged him despairingly to show her Diagon Alley. It was her first ever trip into wizarding public- or as far as she was concerned, the wizarding world at all.  
  
“Can we get my wand, first, da- I mean, Harry?” asked Lily imploringly as she gazed at the cobblestoned-streets in awe, “Actually, the bookshop? Or maybe-”  
  
“Before we buy anything,” Harry reminded her, “We need to go to Gringotts.”  
  
The wizard money that her older brother had was running low, anyway. Lily watched in utter excitement as the guards at the bank opened the doors for them, bowing.  
      
Taking Lily’s Hogwarts letter from her, (which had been delivered by the Minister himself) Harry nearly groaned at all of the things they needed to buy. He wasn’t sure how Hagrid had even done it the first time, in fact.  
      
“We’ll get the boring stuff out of the way, first, I suppose,” nodded Harry, and together, they stepped into Madame Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions.  
      
Being measured made Lily feel very embarrassed, as it just reminded her how skinny and neglected her body was. Not having to take off her clothes made her feel better- but Harry was still small, and yet, he had at least five or six sizes on her.  
      
They headed for Flourish and Blotts next, where Lily was told that she was just like Harry’s friend, Hermione. The impatient salesman had grabbed Harry’s books, just two new ones he needed, but Lily had asked for a set of third-year level books, as well.  
      
“What are you doing that for?” asked Harry, confused, “You’re not in third year.”  
      
“I’ve already read all of your first and second,” Lily countered, without thinking, “They’re boring. I had nothing to do over last summer, remember? Watch after I get my wand, because I bet I can do all the first-year spells already.” To be honest, she didn't know if that was the truth or not. Probably a lie.  
      
Ollivander’s was “Just as creepy as I remember it,” Harry shuddered, as Lily exited the shop, the new proud owner of a twelve inch Holly wand, like her father’s, but with unicorn tail hair instead of a phoenix feather.  
      
Over the next few days, they didn’t do any more actual shopping. They still had loads more to buy, like a cauldron for Lily, and new Potions ingredients for the both of them, but the siblings rather enjoyed their newfound freedom.  
      
They ate at the Leaky Cauldron for a lot of their meals, and they could order whatever they wanted. Harry liked spending time looking at the newest racing broom on the market, the Firebolt, which Lily didn’t quite understand, seeing as she had never flown before. The idea of it excited her, however.  
      
As the days slipped by, Harry started looking wherever he went for a sign of Ron or Hermione. He introduced Lily to whoever Hogwarts student he happened to run into (and there were lots, considering the start of term was so near), but he hadn’t been seeing one inking of the ginger or his bushy-haired friend.  
      
Lily woke up on the 31st of August feeling relatively happy- it was the last day of the holidays, and they (well, Harry, but it was their vault) had bought everything on their lists. She hadn’t gotten a pet, however, because she didn’t want the Dursleys to harm it. Hedwig was fine, and she could always borrow her or a school owl if she needed to write someone.  
      
“Harry! HARRY!”  
      
Ron and Hermione were both there, sitting outside Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor; looking very freckly and/or tanned. Lily didn’t protest as her father (brother?) took her hand and dragged her over to meet the frantically waving duo.  
      
“Finally!” exclaimed Ron as Harry and Lily sat down, “We went to the Leaky Cauldron, but they said you'd left, and we went to Flourish and Blotts, and Madam Malkin’s, and-”  
  
“I got all my school stuff last week,” Harry explained, “And how come you know I’m staying at the Leaky Cauldron?”  
      
“Dad,” said Ron simply, “Is this- Lily? Lily, uh-”

He clearly knew who Lily was, being raised on the wizarding stories and all. But surely, before now, Harry mentioned her.  
      
“Yeah, this is Lily,” Harry nodded, grinning, “Most likely the reason for my sanity.”  
      
Lily smiled slightly at her brother’s friends. She was eager to make her own, but with everything she had to do before next year, she wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to.  
      
Voldemort made a new body for himself and came back to the living in the summer of 1994. That was only a year from now- which meant she only had a year to destroy his Horcruxes- the soul fragments that resided within several different objects of value to him.  
      
As she sat, deep in thought, she entirely missed the fact that Harry and his friends were going to the Magical Menagerie, the pet store in Diagon Alley.  
      
“Can I go buy a journal, Harry?” Lily asked innocently enough, which let her easily slip into the stationary shop. The owner, a bustling old woman, wrinkled with stress, was pacing by the front counter.  
      
“Excuse me, miss?” inquired Lily politely, “You see, I am in need of a diary, but I do not want my brother to read it. Do you have any suggestions?”  
      
She wasn’t going to actually write in it as a diary, of course. All of the information in Lily’s head was starting to become annoying, and she felt she needed a plan, or else she would get into a lot of trouble with Albus Dumbledore, or worse, the Ministry- if they found out half the things she would need to accomplish in order to ensure that Voldemort isn’t allowed to come back, regardless of saving the wizarding world from a war, they would still throw her in Azkaban.  
      
The woman suggested several diaries, complete with many privacy spells. Lily bought the most expensive one, and even though it made a dent in her money bag, it was still worth having an actual to-do list.  
      
So in the Leaky Cauldron, the night before they were supposed to get on the train, Lily had dinner with Harry, Hermione, and the rest of the Weasleys. Mrs. Weasley claimed that both Harry and Lily were certainly too skinny, and suggested that they have third and fourth helpings. Dutifully annoyed, but touched at the thought that someone would care enough, Lily headed upstairs, avoiding the Weasley twins, Fred and George, who were attempting to instill her false things about Hogwarts.  
      
Lily wrote down carefully..

* * *

  
  
**How to Kill Voldemort in 17 Easy (Not) Steps**      
  
_1\. Learn how to destroy a Horcrux_  
  
_2\. Skip if Diary of T.M. Riddle is destroyed already: get diary from Ginny Weasley_  
  
_3\. (Skip if already destroyed) Destroy Diary_  
  
_4\. Collect Ravenclaw’s Diadem from that place/room thing at Hogwarts_  
  
_5\. Destroy said Diadem_  
  
_6\. Get Sirius declared a free man_

 _7\. Collect Slytherin’s Locket from Sirius' house (finding out where that is would be good, too)_  
  
_8\. Destroy said locket_

_9\. Have Sirius claim the (Lestrange?) Vault as Head of Black Family (can he even do that?)_

_10\. Collect Hufflepuff’s Cup from vault, avoid that dragon H talked about_

_11\. Destroy the Cup_

_12\. Somehow get to the Gaunt Shack (No idea where it is) and get through the wards to get the Ring; get Sirius’ help_

_13\. AVOID THE CURSE on the Ring; destroy Ring_  
  
_14\. Somehow find Nagini the Snake and destroy her with whatever can destroy Horcruxes- most likely located in old Riddle House in that graveyard place_

_15\. Somehow get Harry to sacrifice himself to Voldemort. (again?)_

_16\. Watch proudly as he comes back to life in an epic battle of love and taunting._

_17\. Use the disarming spell on your now mortal Voldemort. It will kill him quickly. Trust me._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. The Dementor On the Express

The next morning, Lily found herself being shaken awake by Harry. She smiled brightly at him- nothing could ruin this day. She was finally off to Hogwarts; free from her old life- where her father in the future would have refused to let her go if she asked.

Lily had decided to call the newly turned thirteen year old version of her father Harry- and she’d keep it that way. They were not the same person, most certainly.  
      
She had just managed to close her trunk, for the last time until Hogwarts. Lily had bought a smaller bag, where she had packed a few books that she would only read if she was really bored. Her wand was in its box, inside the bag, too, and Lily frowned, taking it out and placing it in her jeans pocket.  
      
“I’m ready, Harry!” She called, just as Ron burst into the room, pulling on a sweatshirt and looking irritable.  
      
“The sooner we leave for Hogwarts, the better,” He said, rolling his eyes, “Honestly! Now Percy thinks I’ve gone and dripped tea on his picture of his girlfriend- what a bloody wanker! Oh, hi, Lily,” he added hastily, seeing her confused expression from behind Harry.  
      
“Percy, Ron’s third-oldest brother,” reminded Harry, “He’s a Prefect, it means you have really good grades, and you’ve been appointed by Dumbledore. He gets to take house points from people, and assign detentions.”  
      
Again, Harry looked troubled, but Lily knew it wasn’t because of the detentions, “I’ve got to-”  
      
“Add a pompous attitude to that!” Fred and George appeared on the stairwell.  
     
“A good-”  
      
“Healthy-“  
      
“Detention-“  
      
“Is often good for the soul!” They finished together, and then began to congratulate Ron for setting off Percy yet again.  
      
When they got downstairs, Mr. Weasley was sat in a chair, reading the Daily Prophet with a slight frown, while Mrs. Weasley sat a few seats away with Hermione, and her mother. Well, it was Ginny Weasley- but Lily had never met her before in her life; this one or the last.  
      
She was telling them about a love potion that she’d made when she was younger. They were all laughing, mostly derisive giggles. Shaking her head, a few tears escaping, Lily went to follow Harry around until it was time to go.  
      
The Ministry Cars that had been provided to Mr. Weasley seemed inconspicuous, albeit grand. The drivers were silent as they weaved in and out of muggle traffic, and Lily noticed that they seemed to be doing this easier than she’d thought it’d be.  
      
“Right,” said Mr. Weasley, as the drivers had gotten their trunks and pets, putting them onto carts, then tipped their hats and drove off, “I’ll go first with Harry, then Molly, would you take Lily?”  
      
Mrs. Weasley took Lily’s hand, “It’s alright to be nervous, dear,” and then, when no one was looking, brought the girl through the barrier.  
      
The Hogwarts Express was a steam engine like no other- scarlet, with gold and black trimming, like the house that Lily wanted to be in. She held in her gasps of excitement as Harry pulled her into a compartment with Ron and Hermione.  
      
“Don’t you want to make your own friends?” asked Hermione in a would-be-kindly tone, but Lily, not catching the social cue, shook her head. Hermione shrugged, “That’s alright. Any sibling of Harry is a friend of ours.”  
      
The train started to move, and the trio and Lily suddenly realized that they were not alone in the compartment.  
      
The stranger was a younger man- perhaps in his early thirties at least. He was dressed in shabby brown wizarding robes, and his plain, sandy hair had specks of grey in it.  
      
Lily froze, “Remus Lupin,” she spoke, before clapping a hand over her mouth.  
      
Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked at her strangely, wondering how she knew his name.  
      
“How do you know him, Lily?” Hermione asked, and Harry nodded with her.  
      
“Erm,” she began, “He’s in a lot of the pictures Harry has- of our mum and dad. Along with.. some other people,” she finished lamely, then added, “It also says R.J. Lupin on his trunk, see? He must be a professor- perhaps to make sure Sirius Black doesn’t sneak on somehow?”  
      
Harry and Ron exchanged looks, while Hermione’s face lit up, “Of course!”  
      
As the Professor slept, Harry made a decision to tell his friends and Lily about Sirius Black supposedly being “after” him. Lily knew, however, that this was not true, but she kept quiet- somehow, she had gotten better at lying and acting.  
      
“Wonder what he teaches?” said Ron, frowning, just as Harry had finished his explanation.  
      
“That’s obvious, isn’t it?” Hermione’s response was fluid and immediate, “Defense Against the Dark Arts- that’s the only vacant spot, yes?”  
      
Lily’s confused expression made them launch into explanation of their previous D.A.D.A instructors- Professors Quirrell and Lockhart.  
      
It was about ten minutes before the conversation quickly turned to Hogsmeade, the wizarding village next to Hogwarts. Lily wasn’t allowed to go, seeing as she would be a first-year, and neither was Harry- their Uncle Vernon hadn’t signed his permission form.  
      
“You’ll have to tell me when you’ve found out,” Harry informed them, an unreadable expression on his face. Lily patted his arm, attempting to be comforting as Ron and Hermione launched into questions.  
      
“What d’you mean?” asked Ron as he offered his box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans to Lily, who politely declined.  
      
“I can’t go. The Dursleys wouldn’t sign my form, and Fudge wouldn’t, either,” Harry said gloomily, and Lily’s expression darkened into a glare at the floor.  
      
“ _You’re not allowed to come?_ ” Ron exclaimed, looking horrified, “But - no way - someone’s got to give you permission.. McGonagall would see reason-“  
      
Harry gave a hollow laugh. Lily had heard about the strict professor from him- as she was reading his third-year Transfiguration texts.  
      
“Or maybe the twins - they’ve got to know every way out of the castle-“  
      
Ron’s muttering made Hermione hit him with her book. He rubbed his shoulder, looking sour, “I mean, they’ve got to let you go, mate! If we’re with him, Black wouldn’t dare-”  
      
“Oh Ron, don’t expect Black to cower away from Harry just because we’re with him,” snapped Hermione, “If anything, he’d kill us like he killed those thirteen muggles! He’s already murdered a street full of people- what makes you think he wouldn’t do it to us?”  
      
She was now fumbling with Crookshanks, her ginger cat’s carrier.  
      
“Don’t let that thing out,” warned Ron, who was now even more sour than before, “Don’t do it!”  
      
Lily sat back, pulling out a book- which happened to be Harry’s- and leant back against her brother, keeping one eye on the lump in Ron’s pocket; she knew it was Peter Pettigrew, hiding in animagus form.  
      
The Hogwarts Express moved steadily north, and as it did, Lily had finished Harry’s Transfiguration book for the fifth time. She knew that it was her favorite subject- useful, but however, Defense Against the Dark Arts had to be her top priority.  
      
“Hermione?” Lily said suddenly, “Can I borrow a book?”  
      
Thrusting the Intermediate Transfiguration by Emeric Switch back at her brother, bored with it, she took the confused girl’s offering of Defense Against the Darkest by Amelia Hawthorne.  
      
“The first-year texts are boring,” explained Lily, “Transfiguration and D.A.D.A are my favorite subjects so far, but Harry wouldn’t let me buy anything more advanced.”  
      
Hermione beamed at the girl, who also admitted to reading Hogwarts: A History, and they quickly began to discuss things that Ron and Harry simply weren’t bothered with.  
      
By mid-afternoon, it began to rain very hard outside the train. Lily was grateful for Harry’s warmth, shivering slightly as she looked at the rolling hills- Sirius Black must have not gotten to Hogwarts any other way- for he was on the run without a wand.  
      
She turned her attention back to Hermione, who had started to explain the houses at Hogwarts. Ron commented that Gryffindor was a definite for Lily: being the younger sister of the boy-who-lived- aka the boy-who-refused-to-die.  
      
Seeing Lily’s worried expression, Hermione quickly changed the subject. The ginger-haired girl was nervous- what if the Sorting Hat put her into Slytherin just because of the plans she had to defeat Lord Voldemort? It took ambition, after all.  
  
Her own thoughts were interrupted by Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle, who stormed their way into the compartment, smirks on their faces. Actually, only Malfoy, but Crabbe and Goyle’s glares made up for it.  
      
“Well, look who it is,” drawled Malfoy in his usual lazy way, “Potty and the Weasel.”  
      
He ignored Lily and Hermione completely, “I heard your father finally got her hands on some gold this summer, Weasley- did your mother die of shock?”  
      
Ron stood up so fast that he almost woke Professor Lupin- who gave a quiet snort, still asleep. Malfoy turned his head, “Who is that?” he asked, sneering at the man with the second-hand robes.  
      
“New teacher,” Harry said, “What were you saying, Malfoy?”  
      
The pale, aristocratic blonde took a visible step back, “Nothing. See you around.”  
      
With that, the three Slytherins left the compartment. The heavy rain thickened as they got further north, and so did the darkness. Lily read Hermione’s book with interest, but quickly finished it within another hour and a half.  
      
“We must be nearly there,” complained Ron, who had taken out many chocolate frog cards, and began casually flipping through them with boredom.  
      
As soon as he spoke, the Hogwarts Express slowly drew to a stop. Unable to see anything outside, Ron looked around, “Brilliant- I’m starving, I want to get to the feast..”  
      
“We can’t possible be there yet,” commented Hermione, taking a glance at her watch.  
      
“So why’r we stopping?”  
      
The train suddenly came to a jolting stop. Lily handed Hermione her book back, just as they were plunged into total darkness; the lamps on the train had all gone out. The sound of luggage falling from their racks was heard- and Lily was getting colder.  
      
She buried her face in Harry’s shoulder; just as feelings of despair and hopelessness washed over them all. Lily didn’t have to look to know that there were Dementors on the Express- peering through compartments, searching for Sirius Black.      
      
_“Brats like yourself will see when your brother gets back from that school,”_ Her Uncle Vernon’s voice hissed, as memories that she didn’t remember were resurfacing. She had been hit several times for accidental magic- but Harry wasn’t there to stop him; he was at his second year of Hogwarts.  
      
Lily had been trapped in Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia’s bedroom- where the unthinkable happened. The memory of it had been blocked off- but Lily knew now why she was so terribly frightened of her own 'uncle'.  
      
Harry was no longer beside her as the colors slowly began to come back- as did the light. Professor Lupin had awoken, and stood quickly.  
      
“Quiet,” His voice was hoarse, interrupting Ron, Hermione, Ginny- when had she arrived? Neville Longbottom had come inside the compartment too.  
      
Lily looked up to see a black, withered hand reach for the door… and the memories were back.  _She had been pleading with him, not to do it…_ But Vernon had done it.  
      
“There is no Sirius Black here,” Remus Lupin spoke, his voice angry, but the dementor did not waver. When it made a move to glide into the compartment, the man raised his wand, previously drawn, and a great, silver figure erupted from it- taking the form of a huge wolf. It charged the dark creature, sending it scattered through the halls, finally driving it off the train.  
      
No sooner than that, the lights flickered on, and the Hogwarts Express was moving again. Lily, unable to contain herself, launched herself into the man, hugging him fiercely.  
      
The tears were still there, and realizing what she had done, Lily froze, then yelped, forgetting about Harry, who was on the floor of the compartment.  
      
Shaking him seemed to do the trick- green eyes met hazel-brown, both pairs filled with tears. They sat, their arms wrapped around each other for a moment, just as Remus Lupin broke apart a large slab of chocolate.  
      
They jumped at the snap. Ron and Hermione pushed Harry back onto the seat, and Lily didn’t let go.  
      
“Are you okay?” asked Ron nervously, his question directed at Harry.  
      
“Yeah,” Harry responded, looking at the door, “Where’s that- where’s that thing? What happened? Who screamed?”  
      
“No one screamed,” Ron stilled, “I mean, Lily was crying, but..”  
      
Harry quickly snapped his head to his sister, “Did you-“  
      
Lily gave a fearful nod- just as Harry pulled her into another hug, “I’m sorry, Lily.”  
      
The rest of the compartment watched the siblings’ interaction with curiosity. Professor Lupin handed them particularly large pieces of chocolate, his expression unreadable.  
      
“Here,” He said to all of them, “Eat. It’ll help.”  
      
Lily was the only one to take a bite- she had heard from her father in his stories that chocolate was the next best thing, compared to a Patronus.  
      
“What was that thing?” Harry asked Lupin.  
      
“A Dementor,” The professor responded, who was now giving chocolate to everyone else, “One of the guards of Azkaban- searching the train for Sirius Black.”  
      
Everyone stared at him. Lily’s lip trembled, thinking of how long the innocent man had spent with the dark creatures in the prison…  
      
  
  



	6. The Castle On the Lake

  
“Eat,” Remus repeated, “It’ll help. I need to speak with the driver, excuse me…”  
      
He disappeared into the corridor.  
      
“Are you sure you’re OK, Harry?” said Hermione, watching Lily’s brother anxiously, who held a confused expression on his face.  
      
“I don’t get it- what happened?” Harry said, wiping his forehead, which had broken out into sweat, “How’d he get rid of it?”  
      
Ron and Hermione explained, while Lily sat, terribly afraid, and listening to them.  
      
“It was horrible,” added Neville Longbottom, in a strangely high voice, “Did you feel how cold it went when it came in?”  
      
“I felt weird,” said Ron, shifting his shoulders, “Like I’d never be cheerful again..”  
      
Ginny, who had been huddling in the seat Professor Lupin had vacated, gave a sort of sob. Hermione moved to comfort her, wrapping an arm around the shaking red-head.  
      
“But- didn’t any of you - fall off your seats?” said Harry, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.  
      
“No,” replied Ron, “Ginny was shaking like mad, though, and I guess, Lily was..”  
      
The boy broke off, staring at them anxiously again. The compartment was silent, thinking retrospectively about the entire event.  
      
Professor Lupin had come back. He looked around, smiling, “You know, I haven’t poisoned that chocolate..”  
      
“It really helps,” Lily piped up, shyly, “I’m not cold anymore.”  
      
She prompted Harry to take a bite- and to his great surprise, felt warmth spread to his entire body. Lily pulled out her book again, feeling more and more nervous about the Sorting.  
      
“We’ll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes,” informed Lupin, “Are you alright, Harry? Lily?”  
      
“Fine,” They nodded in unison, and the professor smiled.  
      
“Excellent.”  
      
They didn’t talk much as Ginny and Neville left to put on their robes- the rest had done so already. Finally, the long train ride ended as it stopped off at Hogsmeade Station- and Lily’s hazel-brown eyes bore into Harry’s.  
      
“You’ll be okay, Lily. The Hat takes your choices into account,” He reassured her, giving her a squeeze, before leaving Lily with Hagrid, who was swinging his lantern, shouting ‘firs-years! firs-years over here!’  
      
The boat-ride across the Great Lake was smooth and silent, except for the occasional moans of amazement as they turned, getting the full view of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
      
Professor Minerva McGonagall met them at the large wooden doors in the Entrance Hall, and Lily herself felt a sense of euphoria as she looked around the hall, where they waited to be sorted.  
  
McGonagall gave a tight-lipped smile as she saw Lily, who must have looked like she was missing even the slight shape of Lily Evans’ eyes. The woman handed a scroll to Professor Flitwick, the tiny Charms teacher, who led the first-years into the hall.  
      
The Sorting began, but Lily didn’t pay much attention to the names- she didn’t need friends- however much she wanted them.  
      
She took note of Professor Lupin, who sat at the Head Table- and what must have been Severus Snape, the ‘bravest man’ that her father in her first life had ever known.  
      
“Potter, Lily!” Flitwick called, and Lily quickly sat down on the stool- everyone was looking at her. Of course they were looking at her; she was the sister of the savior of their world, after all.  
      
_“How intriguing,”_ A tiny voice said from behind her right ear, _“You know things that the world knows not… And the plans you have are most interesting… Ambitious, and very reckless at the same time- but your heart rings true..”_  
      
“GRYFFINDOR!” It shouted, and Lily breathed a sigh of relief, as the red-and-gold-clad table erupted into applause and cheers.  
      
Five other first-years already sat at the table- three boys and two girls.  They furiously tried to introduce themselves as Lily walked toward the table, but she ignored them, choosing to sit next to Ginny and Ron instead.  
      
The Sorting dragged on, and three more girls and three more boys joined the Gryffindor Table. Lily ignored them, and instead, moved aside as Harry, Hermione, and Professor McGonagall entered the Great Hall as Professor Flitwick carried the hat and stool away.  
      
Lily could sense Harry’s concern as he looked around for his sister, who waved happily from beside Ron. Breaking into a grin, he and Hermione sat down on either side of Ron, who had saved them seats, along with Lily.  
      
Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster, stood up from the Head Table, his beard several feet long, “Welcome! Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all, and as one of them is very serious, I think it best to get it out of the way before you become befuddled by our excellent feast…”  
      
Dumbledore cleared his throat and continued. “As you will all be aware after their search on the Hogwarts Express, our school will presently be playing host to some of the Dementors of Azkaban, who will be here on Ministry of Magic business.”  
      
He didn’t seem happy during the pause he gave.  
      
“They are stationed at every entrance to the grounds,” he continued, “And while they are with us, I must make it plain that nobody is to leave school without permission. Dementors are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises - or even Invisibility Cloaks,” he added blandly, and Harry and Ron glanced at each other, “It is not in the nature of a Dementor to understand pleading or excuses. I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. I look to the Prefects, and our new Head Boy and Girl, to make are that no student runs foul of the Dementors.”  
      
Lily noticed Percy Weasley puff out his chest and stare around at the silent students.  
      
“On a happier note, I am pleased to welcome two new teachers to our ranks this year,” Dumbledore continued, “Firstly, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.”  
      
There was some rather unenthusiastic applause, but only those who had been in the compartment on the train with the shabbily-dressed man clapped hard- Lily included.  
      
“As to our second appointment,” Dumbledore ignored the lukewarm applause, “Well, I am sorry to tell you that Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs. However, I am delighted to inform you that his post will be filled with none other than our very own Professor Hagrid, who has agreed to take on this teaching job in addition to his gamekeeping duties.”  
      
Lily, who didn’t know Hagrid very well, applauded quite politely, but Harry, Ron, and Hermione were the last to stop clapping.  
      
Professor Dumbledore ended his speech with a flourish of his wand, when a multitude of food appeared. Golden plates and goblets filled suddenly with food and drinks, and the Hall began to echo with talk, laughter, and the clatter of knives and forks.  
      
Lily’s adrenaline was running high as the Feast finished- tomorrow, after lessons, she would go to the seventh floor, where she knew the Room of Requirement was located. She would collect the supposedly lost Ravenclaw’s Diadem from its hiding place- the horcruxes were the ones she had heard the most about- it sat on a bust with an ugly white wig.  
      
The Prefects led the first-years on a route that she knew that she would have difficulty memorizing- leaving Harry in the Great Hall near the Head Table, where he was congratulating Hagrid.  
      
Gryffindor Tower was absolutely breath-taking, but Lily had no time to marvel the scarlet and gold house before she fell asleep in the nearest bed to the window, feeling finally happy at last.  
  
  
  



	7. Dunderheads and Diadems

Lily awoke the next morning with an extreme sense of euphoria, heightening even so when she followed her brother down to the Great Hall for breakfast.  
      
If Harry was bothered at all by the fact that Lily stayed close, he didn’t show it at all. He seemed quite happy, in fact, when she ate next to him. Draco Malfoy, for one, continued to imitate a fainting motion, which he dutifully ignored.  
      
“Anyway, we’ll see how happy Malfoy is after our first Quidditch match,” said Fred, one of the Weasley twins, who had given her and the rest of them their timetables, “Ever seen a game of Quidditch, Lily?”  
      
The first-year shook her head, and most at the table, save for Hermione, gasped in horror. Harry patted her head sympathetically, while Fred and George examined her.  
      
“I think she’d be a good Chaser,” George announced, while Harry whispered to her, “Our dad was a chaser for awhile.”  
      
Ron, on the other hand, paid no attention to what position she would be good at. Instead, he launched into explaining the rules, but Lily put her hand up.  
      
“I already know the rules, I’ve just never seen a game,” She admitted as the rest of them sighed in disappointment.  
      
“Ah, young child, you haven’t lived,” commented Fred.  
      
“What kind of a brother is he?” said George, who motioned to Harry, who rolled his eyes immediately as he filled his plate with more sausages.  
      
Hermione was examining her timetable, while Ron peered over her shoulder.  
      
The two argued about her schedule being fouled up as Lily separated from them for her first class, which happened to be Charms with the Ravenclaws.  
      
“Does she know where she’s going?” asked Harry, seeing her retreating back up to the fourth floor, where the Charms classes were held.  
      
“She’s going in the right direction,” said George, who shrugged as the twins left, headed off to Potions. Harry frowned, taking a look at his timetable for the third time.  
      
“Let’s go,” Hermione herded him and Ron away from the Great Hall. Ron stared sadly at his uneaten eggs before they stepped in the direction of the North Tower.  
  
    

* * *

 

Charms was excellent, albeit a bit boring. Professor Flitwick took role standing on a pile of books, and seemed excited as he got to Lily’s name.  
      
He set off by explaining the curriculum, and told the class that they would be practicing the Levitation Charm to start off the year. The little Professor made them take notes on the history, incantation, and practicality, and then gave them all feathers to work on.  
      
Lily took neat notes before attempting to try the incantation. She had gotten several notebooks for her classes- one for each one, and had the lady at the shop add a table of contents, which would self-update with every spell they learned.  
      
“Wingardium Leviosa!” She spoke, but frowned- the feather did not begin to float. The boy sitting next to her was having the same problem- but she quickly realized her mistake.  
      
Lily said the incantation a second time, along with a sharp swish and flick from her wand, and watched with amazement as the white feather flew high above her head.  
      
“Five points to Gryffindor, Miss Potter!” Professor Flitwick said proudly, and as soon as he did, Lily lost her focus, watching it drop gently under the desk because of some kind of updraft in the room. She retrieved it, her ears red.  
      
The boy beside her, a Ravenclaw, scowled, but he was the second to preform the charm correctly. The lesson ended abruptly as Professor Flitwick hadn’t realized that he’d kept them a minute over- and none of the first-years had any idea of the schedule.  
      
Lily’s next class happened to be Potions- and the professor absolutely _loathed_ her. She knew why- it was such a tease to have the red, unmessy hair, small, lithe figure, and pale skin, but not the green eyes. The only thing that she had going for her was that she hadn’t inherited James Potter’s eyesight, although she had the color.  
      
“If you aren’t the usual batch of dunderheads I have to teach,” finished Professor Snape, who narrowed his eyes at Lily. She wasn’t surprised- Harry was absolutely dreadful at Potions- as she expected herself to be.  
      
“Potter- what would I get if I asked you to mix powdered moonstone and the syrup of hellebore?” The moody, greasy-haired Professor snapped, catching Lily off guard.  
      
Taking a deep breath, she answered sarcastically, “Well, if it was from me, sir, you would get a cauldron full of failure. If it was anyone else, I’d say that it was a third-year who failed to stir their Draught of Peace in between ingredients, resulting in an explosion.” She had read up on potions, for she was sure that Snape would try something like this.  
      
“I will not take cheek in my classroom!” roared Snape, startling most everyone, “Ten points from Gryffindor, Potter.”  
      
Rolling her eyes, which lost her another ten, Lily opened her book to the third page, and began a cure for boils. Though not perfect, it would average at least an Acceptable from Snape, and an Exceeds Expectations from any sane professor.  
      
Lunch was after that. She quickly slid into a seat next to Harry, who asked her about her first two lessons with interest.  
      
“I lost twenty points in Snape’s class,” Lily reported, and their glares became very evident to the sallow-skinned man sitting at the Head Table.  
      
“What for?” Hermione’s expression was disapproving.  
      
“Answering a question about a third-year Potion,” Lily shrugged, and Ron shoved more food in his mouth the angrier he got.  
      
“But I got five in Charms,” She offered, but it didn’t make it seem much better. She had still already lost fifteen points- it was like Snape hated her more than Harry. Although, maybe it was because Lily antagonized him, whereas Harry was more like his mother, how he took it with no complaints at the start.  
      
“Ron, cheer up,” Hermione changed the subject, turning to the boy in question- who looked very, very jumpy and very, very angry, “You heard what Professor McGonagall said.”  
      
Turning to Harry, the red-haired boy swallowed nervously, talking in a low, serious voice, “Harry, you haven't _seen_ a great black dog anywhere, have you?”  
      
“Yeah, I have,” said Harry, and Lily looked at him with confusion, “We saw one the night we left the Dursleys.”  
      
Ron’s fork fell with a clatter.  
      
“Probably a stray,” said Hermione calmly as Lily had a look of realization on her face- the eyes in the bushes- the ones on Magnolia Crescent- they were Sirius Black, in his animagus form.  
      
Ron looked at Hermione as though she had gone mad, “Hermione, if Harry’s seen a Grim- that’s- that’s bad,” he said, “My- my Uncle Billius saw one and- and he died twenty-four hours later!”  
      
“It wasn’t very big,” Lily found herself speaking, “It was actually really skinny- and dirty, too. Like he hadn’t been cared for in a long time. He bolted as soon as the Knight Bus came.”  
      
“See, a coincidence,” said Hermione airily, pouring herself some pumpkin juice, “A stray. That’s it.”  
      
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” claimed Ron, “Most wizards get scared the living daylights out of them if they’ve seen a Grim!”  
      
“There you are, then,” said Hermione in a superior tone, “They see the Grim and then die of fright. Simple. I think Divination seems very woolly, if you ask me. That lesson was absolutely rubbish compared to my Arithmancy class!”  
      
She snatched up her bag and stalked away, Ron frowning after her.  
      
“What’s she talking about?” He asked the two Potters, “She hasn’t even been to an Arithmancy class yet.”  
    

  
Transfiguration, Lily found, was a lesson worth waiting for. It was now Thursday, and she had not been finding any time to spend inside the Room of Requirement looking for the Diadem. Lily had sat with Harry for all of the meals, and avoided her dorm-mates, who in turn, ignored her. She wasn’t sure of any of their names, but she knew that there was a Demelza, and a Maeve, but that was all.  
      
Lily had been excited when Professor McGonagall had transfigured her teacher’s desk into a pig, but disappointed at the same time; she informed them briskly that they wouldn’t be attempting Transfiguration like that until their sixth or seventh year.  
      
“Transfiguration is one of the most difficult branches of magic you’ll find here at our school,” warned McGonagall, “I shall attempt to show you how to wield it, but mark my words, foolish behavior in my classroom will have you sent with a note to the Headmaster explaining why you are no longer allowed to take my class.”  
      
Lily had hung on to her every word- copying down notes of the diagrams and theory- when she had gotten her wand, Ollivander had told her that the certain combination was excellent for transfiguring and difficult spell work.  
      
Furthermore, when she was the first one to transfigure her matchstick into a half of a needle, McGonagall had given her a smile, plus ten points for Gryffindor, and told the girl that her father excelled in this subject, too.  
      
Lily could hear a couple of her classmates, Slytherins and Gryffindors, complaining how she was going to be as annoying as that Harry Potter bloke. Always the favorite, according to their siblings. She didn’t take it personally.  
     
The last lesson of that Thursday, Herbology, went by quickly. Lily expected it to be slow (plants didn’t interest her all that much), but she felt that she could get at least an Exceeds Expectations if she studied hard enough.  
      
Finally, there were two hours between the end of Herbology and dinner- Harry, Ron, and Hermione all had Defense (which she hadn’t actually had yet), leaving Lily alone.  
      
Before she knew it, she was on the seventh floor, standing before the entrance to the Room of Requirement. Lily held a journal, containing all that she could recall about the magical room.  
      
_I need a place to hide my journal, I need a place to hide my journal.._ Lily paced on the opposite of the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, and nearly cried out-loud as a door slowly began to appear on the wall..


	8. The Boy in the Library

Lily left the Room of Requirement feeling very accomplished- the piles upon piles of seemingly useless, abandoned junk appeared to be overwhelming at first- but the rusty, old tiara in her bag proved differently.  
      
She had hidden the Horcrux under her bed- protected with mild jinxes and protection spells. Lily had learned those in the library; a place that had become her new best friend. Well, it held her new best friends.  
      
It was now mid-October. Lily sat in the grass by the Black Lake with her journal; the one that held all her plans. It helped to write things down, but even if Lily _wanted_ to forget, she _couldn’t_ forget.  
      
Professor Lupin’s classes had been interesting- she had been to about four so far. They talked about dark creatures, and simple jinxes. The very first class, she had learned how to send up sparks in the air, and they had spoken about the Shield Charm, but never in practice- according to Remus, they would learn that in sixth-year Charms. She learned nothing about expelling pieces of Voldemort’s soul.  
      
Ravenclaw’s Diadem proved most difficult to get rid of. The Harry Potter in her first life never actually told her how to destroy Horcruxes- only that he used the Sword of Gryffindor or Basilisk fangs, but those were quite inaccessible.  
      
So for now, it sat under her bed.  
      
After Lily’s lessons for the day, she had come to roam the grounds of Hogwarts, hoping to catch a glimpse of a certain black shaggy-haired dog. She wasn’t certain when he would first break into the castle- only that it must be soon.  
      
“Miss Potter!” Lily froze- was it after curfew already?  
      
Professor McGonagall came, seething down the hill. Lily had been standing on the shore, staring blankly at the moon. The gentle lapping of the water proved to be great thinking company- and while she was cold, she didn’t mind at all.  
      
“Miss Potter!” McGonagall said again; only this time, the professor stood in front of her. Lily looked up at the woman, her eyes glazed over.  
      
Why was she acting this way? Lily tried to fight- but her heart was too weak for the darkness…

 

* * *

  
Lily sat up, her eyes wandering over to the large bookshelves in front of her. There were many, and they stretched for as far as she could see. Slightly wary, but quite excited, Lily pulled out a book that looked from the title to be about Transfiguration.  
      
Frowning as she opened it, Lily looked around, pulling out another, and opening that one, too. Where were the words on the pages? Each book she got from the shelves were empty.  
      
“Hello?” Lily called, frightened. She was alone in this place, but not for much longer.  
      
Lily nearly jumped out of her skin when a boy around her age, perhaps a few years older, walked out from another aisle of books.  
      
“Oh, I thought I was alone in here!” He exclaimed, approaching Lily suddenly. The boy was very handsome; he had dark hair and blue eyes. His skin was pale and flawless, and his body, too.  
      
“Come on, I think I know a way out,” The boy continued, and without a question, Lily followed him through the shelves, having no choice because of the grip he had on her hand.  
      
As he led her, he asked, “What’s your name? How long have you been here?”  
      
Lily frowned, “I’m Lily, Lily Potter. I’ve only been in here for a few minutes.”  
      
“Oh,” The boy laughed, revealing perfectly straight, white teeth, “I’ve been here for days. The books are amazing, did you know? What’s your favorite?”  
      
Feeling strangely at ease, Lily laughed with him for a second, “My favorite book is anything to do with magic. My relatives don’t like it much, you see. Except for my brother, he’s a wizard like me.”  
      
The boy nodded, “I’m very much the same. Did you know that I didn’t know I was a wizard until Dumbledore told me I was?”  
      
Lily listened to the strange boy with interest, “Really? I guess we have a lot in common.. Say, what’s your name? How come I haven’t seen you around Hogwarts before?”  
      
The boy smiled, but it became more of a smirk.  
      
“My name is Tom,” He said, “Tom Riddle. Hello, Lily Potter.”  
      
At the sudden revelation, Lily jumped back so quickly that she almost knocked into the bookshelves, “Tom Riddle?” asked Lily weakly, her eyes widening.  
      
“Yes,” The boy nodded, his smirk unwavering, “I would like to thank you for protecting me, Lily. You see, I-“  
    
Lily shook her head fiercely, “I’ll never protect you,” she whispered, backing away from the boy. She broke into a run, “Never!”  
      
Tom Riddle glided after her, his eyes turning red, “Oh, but you will. Farewell for now, Lily.”  
    

* * *

  
A heart-wrenching scream coming from her throat, Lily bolted upwards in bed, her tears coming fast and thick. She was in her dormitory. Her dormitory. In Gryffindor House- how had she gotten there?  
      
Lily slowly began to calm down. She was never completely calm- she could feel the heartbeat of the horcrux underneath the bed. The blank books- the nice boy- it was all because of the Diadem.  
      
“I will destroy you,” breathed Lily as she cried silently, not caring if her dorm-mates heard her. _Voldemort_ was a nightmare. _Tom Riddle_ was the creator.  
      
The days leading up to Halloween carried excitement for the third-years. The notice had just been posted last night- but it was all Ron and Hermione could talk about. Lily stuck to Harry and avoided her dorm when she could, but the dreams would always come back, wherever she slept.  
      
Professor McGonagall gave no notice of recalling the scene by the lake- which made Lily think that Tom Riddle had made that a dream, too.  
  
However frightened she was, Lily promised herself more and more that she would learn how to get rid of it. She _had_ to. There was no other option.  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. The Monster Under the Bed

The nightmares that plagued Lily’s sleep so often made it difficult to stay focused during her classes. She was haunted, by the desperate faces and the pleading voices, people who, because of her promise, turned into something that frightened her.

The rest of her dorm-mates made it positively worse. They were all beginning to become annoyed by her soft cries at night- but how was she to be rid of the Diadem?

Lily _couldn’t_ go to Dumbledore. He would question her far too much, and who knows if he already know how to destroy it? Maybe he would simply toss it away; regardless of what it was.  
      
As for destroying it herself, Lily didn’t quite know how. She would have to break into the Chamber of Secrets, or the Headmaster’s office, but Lily didn’t know where _those_ were, either.  
      
Sitting by the fire quietly, Lily watched as the last of the embers slowly died away. The first-year was the only one left in the common room- she had started to make it a habit as of late, wanting to avoid the darkness that hung in her heart every night she spent sleeping in the dormitory.  
      
“Lily?” It was Harry’s voice from the boy of the boy’s staircase.  
      
He sat silently on the floor beside her, just as Lily crawled closer, the tracks of tears on her face badly hidden by their hug.  
      
“What’s wrong?” questioned Harry, genuine concern in his eyes, a much different color than her own.  
      
Lily was silent for a moment, “It’s Halloween tomorrow.”  
      
“Oh, Lily,” whispered Harry, “Mum and dad?”  
      
She nodded despairingly, wanting desperately to tell him about the Horcrux. He wouldn’t understand..  
      
They sat there for minutes, hours even. People soon began to stir upstairs, and Lily fleeted regretfully to her dorm, where she pulled on her uniform, running a brush through her dark hair.  
      
At breakfast, she sat silently next to Harry, leaning against her brother. His friends were in a feud again, which meant that only Ron and Ginny Weasley were actually eating with them. They remained quiet, sending each other glances when they thought the unusually somber siblings weren’t looking.  
      
Lily felt incredibly guilty- hidden in her bag was the reason Hermione Granger ate her breakfast with a book, sniffing in Ron’s direction occasionally.  
      
It quickly changed, however, when they stood in the Entrance Hall.  
      
“We’ll bring you back loads of sweets from Honeyduke’s,” said Hermione as she met with Ron and the two Potters near the front door- where in the courtyard, Professor McGonagall stood, collecting permission slips.  
      
“Yeah, loads,” added Ron. He and Hermione had unanimously forgiven each other - the excitement of Hogsmeade couldn’t even keep their spat going.  
      
Lily hadn’t exactly been the reason for their fight. Crookshanks had been after Scabbers, (Peter Pettigrew) for awhile now, and Ron had made a touchy remark about the ginger cat. What he didn’t know, however, was that Lily had stolen his pet, putting a body-bind and silencing charm on the rat, hiding him in her bag.  
      
The useful fifth-year spell came completely out of nowhere. Lily hadn’t remembered reading about it, but it worked, silencing Pettigrew from making any noise in her bag. It was almost suspicious.  
      
“I’ll see you at the feast,” Harry reassured the pair as he walked them into the courtyard, “Don’t worry about me. Lily and I’ll have enough fun here, anyway.”  
  
At his friends’ unconvinced expressions, Harry added hastily, “You have a good time, really. I was going to take Lily flying today, actually.”

"You were?" asked Lily, bewildered, but one look from Harry told her to drop it.  
  
Ron, Hermione, and most of the third-years and up left the castle unnaturally empty. The walk back to Gryffindor Tower left Harry and Lily thoroughly depressed- they had run into Colin Creevey, an eager second-year with a camera and cheerful attitude; along with an angry Filch to boot.  
  
“I hate him,” said Lily vehemently, and Harry nodded, his thoughts elsewhere. They had just made the faintest inkling of a decision to visit Hedwig in the Owlery, when they heard a voice from behind them.  
      
“Harry?” Professor Lupin peered from his classroom, “What are you doing? And Lily, too? Where are Ron and Hermione?”  
      
“Hogsmeade,” said Harry, in a strange, casual tone, “I was just showing Lily around, without anyone else in the way.”  
      
“Ah,” replied Lupin, “I’ve just got a shipment for my Defense classes, perhaps you would like to come in and see it?”  
    
After an eager nod from Lily, wanting a distraction, they entered the office, where a tank of green water sat in the corner, a thin-fingered, scaly-looking creature glared at them.  
    
“A Grindylow?” Lily wondered, and Professor Lupin smiled lightly at her. She’d been avoiding the man who had previously given her a choice- the fear had been too much.  
      
“Yes, Lily, correct. A water-demon,” He said thoughtfully, and Harry looked at her, surprised that she’d have known that.  
      
They watched the Grindylow for a moment, until the professor spoke up again, “We shouldn’t have much difficulty with him, not after the Kappas. The trick is to break his grip. See his fingers? Strong, but very brittle.”  
      
The Grindylow bared its green teeth and settled down in a corner near a tangle of weed.  
      
“Cup of tea?” Professor Lupin offered, looking around for his kettle, “I was just thinking of making one.”  
      
“All right,” Harry said awkwardly, while Lily remained silent.  
      
The professor tapped the kettle with his wand and a blast of steam issued suddenly from the spout.  
      
“Sit down,” said Lupin, taking the lid off a dusty tin. “I’ve only got teabags, I’m afraid- but I daresay you’ve had enough of tea leaves?”  
      
Harry sat down in the only available chair, Lily sliding in beside him. It was often that they did this.  
      
“How did you know about that?” Harry asked.  
      
“Professor McGonagall told me,” said Lupin, passing both Harry and Lily chipped mugs of tea, “You’re not worried, are you? She also mentioned you, Lily. She spoke of your skills in the subject. James was rather good at Transfiguration, too. You have his eyes.”  
      
Lily’s cheeks turned pink, but she gave no response. Of course people would claim she had James's eyes; brown was brown, she supposed.  
      
“It’s her favorite subject,” Harry said, drinking a bit of his tea, “She nicks my books all the time.”  
      
“Oh, really?” Lupin’s eyes were dancing with amusement, “Lily- I mean, your mum used to do that, too, you know. When James didn’t read them, well, they went to her instead.”  
      
Lily suddenly snapped to attention- it seemed like she hadn't been paying attention until now. Professor Lupin leant back against his desk, sipping his tea. It was like he was somewhere else, as well.  
      
The silence was interrupted by two swift knocks on the office door. Severus Snape stood in the entrance, carrying a smoking goblet, while his robes billowed behind him. Lily scurried out of the way as he set the potion down on the table; intimidating the girl.  
      
Harry eyed the smoking liquid suspiciously, just as the two Professor's short conversation drew to a close.  
      
"Pity sugar makes it useless," Lupin swallowed, pulling a face as the door was slammed shut. Harry looked like he very much wanted to push the goblet out of his hands.  
      
"Professor Snape's very interested in the Dark Arts," blurted Harry, and Lily looked at him, a tiny bit curious. It washed away quickly, just as Lupin took another sip; for he was only mildly interested.  
      
"Really?" He took another gulp.  
      
"Some people- some people reckon that he'd do anything for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position," Harry plunged recklessly onward, and Lily was no longer listening to him.  
      
"Disgusting," Professor Lupin coughed, finishing the drink with another large gulp, "Well, Harry, Lily, I'd better get back to work. I'll see you both at the Feast later."  
      
And with that notion, the siblings were seemingly pushed out of the man's office. Lily's eyes began to fill with tears as Harry dragged her back into the Great Hall, where they met Ron and Hermione.  
      
No progress had been made at _all_.  



	10. Feast and Flight

Lily’s very first Halloween Feast was nevertheless enjoyable, and the shower of sweets that had fallen in front of Harry and her both made it even better. She attempted to cheer herself up by listening to Ron and Hermione go on and on about Honeyduke’s, Zonko’s, and many other shops that Hogsmeade called their own.  
      
The Great Hall had been decorated brilliantly- a far multitude of candles, ghosts, and happy faces flickered about in the light. Even Professor Lupin, who had been looking quite pale in his office earlier, was chattering lightly to Flitwick about things that Lily could not quite hear.  
      
“Oh, look!” Hermione pointed the Hogwarts Ghosts out to Lily; who were gliding to the front. The entertainment brought by Sir Nicholas’ hilarious reenactment of his very own beheading had both Harry and Lily laughing- and as if the troop of line-dancing Elizabethans made it even better.  
      
Lily noticed Harry’s eyes flickering toward Professor Snape, who was seemingly watching Lupin closely as all in the hall retired for the night. Knowing that it was only because of his ‘condition’, Lily ignored this fact.  
      
“Hey, Potter!” A rude voice came from behind her, and both siblings turned around, Ron and Hermione whirling with them.  
      
“The Dementors are coming to get you, whoo!” Draco Malfoy’s mocking voice made the five other Slytherins he stood with giggle and laugh derisively. Harry simply shrugged- Malfoy was certainly not going to ruin this evening.  
      
“Hey, Potter!” Malfoy called again, this time, much more quietly, and only Lily heard him. She lost her brother in the crowd going up the stairs, and it was much too late to stop the blonde’s unwelcome grip on her arm.  
      
“How’s mummy and daddy?” laughed Malfoy, and Lily stood for a moment, shocked. Everything had been wonderful- but a reminder of that; quite possibly the second thing she was trying positively to forget- forced her to well up in tears of anger.  
      
“Shove off, Malfoy!” She hissed, but the blonde knew that he had hit a sore spot.  
      
They were one of the few left in the Entrance Hall now.  
      
“Oh, does little Potty miss her mummy?” teased Malfoy, and Lily felt the extreme urge to smack him. Her hands, however useful they might have been, were being held behind her back by one of his cronies- Goyle, perhaps?  
      
“Let me go!” cried Lily, struggling in the broad Slytherin’s grip, “At least _my_ mother didn’t bribe her way out of Azkaban!”  
      
Malfoy looked affronted. He glared at her, “How dare you! You filthy half-blood, I’ll-“  
      
“Mister Malfoy!”  
      
Lily had stopped struggling- bracing herself for the hand that would have come down on her cheek. Goyle quickly loosened his slack, and Lily broke free, darting away from him in a moment’s glance.  
      
Professor McGonagall stood on the stairs, looking extremely furious, beside Professor Dumbledore, who stood there calmly. Behind them, were many Gryffindor students, who halted on the Grand Staircase, holding confused expressions.  
      
“Three weeks detention and fifty points from Slytherin!” barked McGonagall, “I’ve never, in all my years of Hogwarts, seen such rude behavior toward female students!”

 _It wasn't because I'm female. It was bullying,_ Lily thought, but there were too many things going through her head.  
      
Harry quickly found Lily again as Professor McGonagall pulled Malfoy, Crabbe, Parkinson, and Goyle toward the entrance to the dungeons, where she seethed and lectured them until they were no longer seen.  
      
Trembling, Lily nearly cried as Harry pulled her into a hug. They were ushered back to the Great Hall, along with every other Gryffindor student.  
      
“What the bloody hell was that all about?” commented Ron, who looked extremely confused. Lily gave a wail as she slowly sank to the ground, unable to breathe.  
      
_No progress at all,_ she thought, thinking of the Diadem under her bed. She didn’t want the darkness any longer- but she didn’t know _how to be rid of it!_  
      
Eventually, she was torn from her thoughts. Someone had gotten Madame Pomfrey, who in turn, escorted her to the Hospital Wing. Someone else had accompanied them; a teacher, possibly- but Lily didn’t care.  
      
Memories of another place started coming back up. She was unable to stop them; and eventually, a calming draught was pressed into her hand.  
      
The colors had come back.  
    


	11. The Quidditch Match

The following morning, Lily was released from the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey nearly refused to let her go, but in the end, the girl managed to convince the woman that she was perfectly fine; if not a little shaken up.  
  
The other Gryffindors had spent the night in the Great Hall- because according to Harry, Sirius Black had broken into the castle, slashed the Fat Lady’s portrait, and escaped without being caught by teachers or prefects.  
  
Talking of nothing except this feat, the school widely responded with theories that grew wilder with each passing moment. Esmerelda Claude-Frollo, a first-year Ravenclaw, somehow spread the rumor that Sirius had gotten in through the walls, and that he was really a ghost. According to her, Sirius had killed himself along with the others, but the Ministry just didn’t notice, like Professor Binns, their History of Magic teacher.  
  
“That’s rubbish!” snapped Demelza Robins, a first-year Gryffindor. They were sitting together in the library, where Lily spent most of her spare hours. Demelza slept in the bed next to Lily, and would often try to invite her to whatever her and her friends were doing.  
  
Lily thought of the girl as friendly, and even more so when they looked up, only to find her staring at them. Blushing in embarrassment, Lily accepted their offer of doing homework with them.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione soon found her sitting with the girls.

“Lily, we were wondering if you’d like to watch Harry’s game with us?” asked Hermione. Ron looked incredibly awkward in the library, as well as Harry. Laughing, Lily stood up and followed them out into the rain.  
      
“See you later, Demelza!” she called, and shivered as the trio and her entered the courtyard. Harry said his goodbyes as they arrived at the pitch. Many were there already- it was Gryffindor’s very first game of the season.  
      
The pouring rain did not certainly dampen their house’s spirit; Lily found herself cheering along with the crowd as Gryffindor scored against Hufflepuff again and again. She couldn’t see much, only flying blurs of red and yellow above her head.  
      
Lily drew in a gasp of shock as one of Gryffindor’s team members was struck by lightning. The game had been going on for awhile, and Ron complained that if Harry didn’t catch the snitch soon, they would be playing into the night.

Soaked to the skin and having a great time, Lily argued that finding the snitch must be the hardest job in the world in the rain and worsening darkness.  
      
“The wind’s getting worse,” said Hermione, her face worried as her eyes scoured the Quidditch pitch, “Harry must not be able to see a thing!”  
      
A whistle was blown at the second crack of lightning. Madame Hooch made some kind of hand signal, and every player flew down to the ground.  
      
“What’s happening?” asked Lily, and Ron shrugged.  
      
“Time out,” He finally responded to the girl who had never seen a game of Quidditch in her life, “See? They’re headed- where’r you going, Hermione?”  
      
The bushy-haired girl had disappeared, running down the stairs. She ran out onto the pitch, darting under a tent, and as the second whistle was blown, came back beaming.  
      
“An Impervious Charm!” said Hermione, her cheeks tinged pink in the rain, “I’ve just put it on Harry’s glasses. He’ll be able to see the snitch in the rain, now.”  
      
Lily smiled back, glad that her brother could have a chance to end the game.  
      
“ANOTHER TEN POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!” The commentator, Lee Jordan, and also one of the Weasley Twins’ friends, said, but the stadium was eerily silent.  
      
Lily felt a sweeping cold fall onto the audience. Tensing, the feeling of hopelessness washed over her again, and her own screams were drowned out by the wind…

* * *

  
“Lily? Lily!”

Someone was shaking her awake. She was still at the Quidditch pitch- and Hermione was knelt beside her.  
      
Hermione reached out her hand, and Lily gratefully took it, standing up with fright. She couldn’t quite feel the Dementor’s affects anymore, but they still lingered.  
      
A screaming from the stands on the Hufflepuff side brought Lily’s attention back to reality.  
      
“LOOK!”  
      
The Hufflepuff Captain, Cedric Diggory, had landed, holding the golden snitch in his hands. Hermione pulled Lily and Ron onto the pitch, where they were met by several silver, glowing animals from the Professors.  
      
A silver fish swum through the air, followed by the biggest phoenix that Lily had ever seen. It drove away the Dementors by the dozens, and still stayed in the air as Albus Dumbledore came down, waving his wand, and transporting a dark-haired boy onto a stretcher…


	12. Telling Secrets

Lily felt a strange sinking, numbing feeling as she followed the crowd of people to the Hospital Wing. Harry had fallen from his broom at a great height, ad yet, she felt like she had fallen farther.  
      
Tom Riddle invaded her dreams every time Lily would close her eyes. She was terrified, weak, pale, and frightened, but no one seemed to notice the battle that took so much out of her. Her army was loosing, and Harry was…  
      
_No,_ Lily chided herself, for her brother was very much alright. Headmaster Dumbledore had broken his fall with the Cushioning Charm, and he was only still unconscious because of the Dementors.  
      
“Lucky the ground was so soft.”  
      
“I thought he was dead for sure.”  
      
Quiet voices slowly brought Lily back to earth. Fred and George Weasley stood, along with several others as they crowded around Harry’s occupied bed. The rest of the red-robed Gryffindor Quidditch Team were there, too. Hermione had left Lily for the foot of the bed, next to Ron and Alicia Spinnet, a Chaser.  
      
“He didn’t even break his glasses,” It was George who spoke now.  
      
A few more moments passed, but Lily couldn’t exactly see, “Look, he’s coming round!”  
      
Turning on her heel, Lily silently fled the Hospital Wing, her eyes burning with many more unshed tears. She hadn’t yet thought of a way to free Sirius without garnering suspicion from the Professors, or even the Ministry. Pettigrew may have been in her possession, but at that moment, she hardly felt like she’d made any more progress with _that_ then the Diadem.  
      
In her stupor, Lily failed to realize where she was headed. The collision that occurred sent her tumbling to the ground, “Miss Potter!”  
      
It was Professor McGonagall. Lily quickly stood up, “I’m so sorry, Professor! I was just on my way to-“  
      
She attempted to find a reason, but one glance at the woman’s face was enough to leave her tongue-tied. Lily couldn’t think of an excuse- and as that notion flashed across her mind, she could feel the hotness of her forehead, her eyes pricking, showing she was about to break down…  
      
“Are you well, Miss Potter?” asked McGonagall.  
      
Lily said nothing.  
      
The grey-haired, stiff woman stared at the girl, for she was one of the smallest first-years. A rare concerned expression flashed in her blue eyes, examining the suddenly crying child.  
      
“Perhaps you might want to step into my office?”  
      
Lily looked up, nodding ever so timidly. She followed the Professor through the halls and down to the first floor corridor, keeping her gaze downcast as she was led into the Transfiguration classroom, and then finally McGonagall’s office.  
      
“Have a seat, Potter,” The stern woman spoke, sitting down in a chair behind the desk as she did so. Lily immediately did as she was told, perching herself on the right side of the enormous chair. Harry would always take the left…  
      
She was removed from her thoughts, however, as a steaming mug of hot chocolate and a plate of biscuits was sat in front of her. Looking up in confusion, Lily noticed McGonagall looking rather composed with her own piping drink.      
      
“Now, Lily,” It was also the first time that a teacher had called her by her first name (rather than Lupin), “Tell me what has got you in such a state.”  
      
Sniffing, the tiny first-year took a sip after seeing McGonagall motion to it. Almost immediately, she felt warmer; nicer. There was a cold hush that dwindled over her heart still- one that would never really go away.  
      
“It’s,” Lily started, a crack forcing her to stop and clear her throat. Professor McGonagall stared at her, waiting for her to go on, but Lily didn’t. How was she to explain one thing to this woman?  
      
“Sorry,” Lily’s whisper came, but it was like she hadn’t even spoken. She could feel that Tom was taking over again, and begun to panic, “Sorry. It’s, it’s nothing, really. I’ll just..”  
      
McGonagall’s voice stopped her from getting up, “You’re remarkably like your brother, Lily.”  
      
“What?”  
      
Lily was brought up short. Ever since she had awoken in that horrible little cupboard, people had told her how much she was like Lily Potter I, or James. Hearing that she was similar to Harry- it surprised her. And slightly frightened her.  
      
“Yes,” McGonagall nodded, “Have a biscuit, Potter,” As Lily took one, she continued, “I am sure you expected me to say you are similar to your parents. You have James’ eyes, after all. He was a remarkable student in my class, much like you; and like Mr. Potter, both of you lacked focus, and your practical work far outshone your words on paper.”  
      
Lily felt that this conversation was a forced one, as if McGonagall wanted her to stay.  
      
“And your brother is perfectly well after his fall, Lily, as I’m sure you know,” said the Professor suddenly, “Are you quite alright?”  
      
Lily’s eyes had started to water once more. A stray tear trailed down her cheek, but she didn’t try to wipe it away. Another landed in her lap.  
      
“I don’t want to go home for the holiday,” Lily whispered, and McGonagall’s expression changed all together.  
      
“My Uncle Vernon’s making me,” She continued, her gaze still focused on her lap, as if aided by a guiding force, “He says that Harry’s supposed to remain at Hogwarts. I- I want to stay, but…”  
      
As Lily trailed off, McGonagall asked, strangely calm; though her eyes showed that she knew more than she let on, “And when did he tell you this, Miss Potter?”  
     
“Over the summer, before we left for Diagon Alley. He wants me home on all of the holidays, with- without Harry there.”  
      
“Without-“ McGonagall opened her mouth, then shut it in a very stern line, “Well, excuse me for asking, Miss Potter, but is there any particular reason for you not wanting to go to the muggles for Christmas?”  
      
Another tear.  
      
“I…” Lily sniffled once more, “He told me not to talk about it.”  
      
“Miss Potter, if you do not tell me what it is that’s bothering you, then how is anyone going to help?”  
      
“But… Uncle Vernon says not to talk about our club. I’m not allowed to. It’s a _secret_ ,” said Lily, her breath quickening in panic. Flashes of memories that she couldn’t quite recall happening soon broke their way into her mind, and she could only cry more. McGonagall looked affronted.  
      
“What kind of a club, Miss Potter?”  
      
“I’m not supposed to say,” Lily felt compelled to mutter, closing her eyes in an attempt to stop her frantically beating heart.  
      
McGonagall then tried a different approach, “Do you like being in this, er, _club_ , Miss Potter?”  
      
Lily quickly shook her head, sniffling once more. She stayed silent, however, as the tears poured down her pale face.  
      
When she said no more for a matter of minutes, McGonagall spoke, “Lily, I’m going to fetch Professor Dumbledore about this matter. I’m sure it’ll be quickly resolved.”  
      
Leaving the first-year alone in the office, the unusually grave woman set out to find a man that had a _lot_ of explaining to do.  
      
      
    


	13. As Memories Rest

Harry was kept in the Hospital Wing for the rest of the weekend, under much of Madame Pomfrey’s insistence. He had many visitors over those two days, but not one of them was Lily.

Many members of the steady stream were intent on cheering him up; for they brought cards, candy, and their best jokes. Hermione and Ron only left his bedside at night, and the Gryffindor Quidditch Team came once more on Sunday morning.

But while all of these people had tried to make Harry forget about what had happened (Gryffindor had lost, the Dementors had almost caused a fall to his death), not one of them had known where Lily was.

The answer to his question came on Monday, where Harry had expected to return to school.

“Harry?”

Nearly groaning as he turned around, Harry came face to face with Headmaster Albus Dumbledore.

“Oh, erm, hi, Professor,” said Harry, extremely confused, as he had never seen this look on Dumbledore’s face before. It resembled one of sadness, guilt, and perplexity. What bothered Harry the most was that the old man wasn’t trying at all to hide it.

“Harry, would you terribly mind meeting in my office with me?” Dumbledore spoke, his face hard. Looking back at Ron and Hermione behind him, Harry nodded, albeit slowly. What was this all about?

No sooner than when the old man and the confused boy arrived inside the Headmaster’s office, Harry spotted Lily sitting frightfully in front of the desk. Professor McGonagall, Professor Lupin, Professor Snape, looking very mean, Molly and Arthur Weasley, and a larger man and woman who appeared to be from the Ministry of Magic stood amongst the whizzing contraptions and instruments.

“What’s this all about?” Harry voiced the question he had been wondering for a while now.

“Thank you for coming, Mr. Potter,” McGonagall began, shooting an infuriated look at Dumbledore as she did so, “We only have a few things to question you about in regard to your sister.”

“Okay,” said Harry, his brow furrowing into a look of utter blankness. He quickly pulled Lily into a hug, fearing that she was going to start crying. Strangely to him, Mrs. Weasley nearly burst into tears herself.

“Harry, Lily has spoken to us about a sort of club that she and your Uncle Vernon partake in together,” began Dumbledore, “We were hoping you could enlighten us as to what that may be.”

Feeling his face grow hot all of a sudden, Harry looked to Lily, who simply stared at her lap. He knew that look on her- it was one of guilt.

“Club? What- Professor, I don’t understand,” He said finally, for it was the truth. He had no clue at all what they were all on about.

“Forgive me, but what the Headmaster means to say is,” McGonagall said quietly, “The muggles you live with, Mr. Potter, do they harm you or Miss Potter in any way?”

Lily was crying. Harry could feel his heart drop in his chest as he took in the stern woman’s words.

“No,” said Harry, in an unusually high voice, “Why would they do that? I mean, they’re not that fond of magic, but they wouldn’t…”

Harry froze as a hand was put on his shoulder, “Harry, it’s okay,” It was Professor Lupin. His eyes shone with the strangest guilt, “You can tell them. Most of them already know.”

“No,” Harry repeated, his voice firmer this time. He could feel the childishness that had been brought about by the questions.

“Harry, tell them that it’s not true.” Lily cried, trembling as she leant into her brother. Warmth and sanctuary was all she wanted, and yet, it was the very thing the siblings were keen to avoid.

“Mr. Potter,” warned Dumbledore, for Lily watched as Harry himself jumped out of his chair. In Lily’s mind, it was the same sentences, over and over. In Uncle Vernon’s voice.

_We’re the only members._

_No one will ever have what we have._

_Magic isn’t real. Magic isn’t real._

“Stop!” cried Lily, all at once. She silenced the voice in her head, and the mutterings of the Professors almost immediately. The little girl’s strangled voice was enough for them all to listen.

“…They do, they do!” Lily’s breaths had become erratic, “They put us in the cupboard when they thought we were up to no good. It was our bedroom for a massive part of eleven years! Magic was something that _they hated_ , Dudley would beat Harry up on the playground at our primary school...Uncle Vernon would beat Harry up when Harry managed to get away from Dudley, almost _always_ it was because of magic...”

While Lily talked, she noticed the ministry worker spelling a quill to write everything that she was saying. As a result of this, she immediately realised what she had done, quickly shutting her mouth and her heart dropping to her feet.

She had only wanted them to be quiet.

Harry was even glaring at her, a glare that expressed the feeling of betrayal very clearly. He was tearing up, in the angry sort, as the adults in the room turned to look at him. He was embarrassed beyond all words, that his sister had decided to blurt out their deepest, darkest secrets, today.

But none of that could describe how Lily felt, in that moment. It was the feeling of the deepest shame. None of this had really happened to her, it had happened to her father. These memories she had, this life that she had been thrust into, what was it for? She couldn’t even look Professor Lupin in the eye, because of it. And half of the time, she couldn’t even tell if it was herself or Tom Riddle taking the reins. Because of the diadem under her bed. And Peter Pettigrew in her school-bag.

“We need separate, full testimonies,” muttered the ministry worker, to his mate. As they discussed, Professor McGonagall came closer to her, sitting down in a chair that she conjured opposite.

“Miss Potter,” McGonagall said, “We would like for you to tell us more. Would you prefer for everyone to be out of the room? Perhaps it would be less stressful for you to tell us, that way.”

Refusing to make eye contact, Lily stared at the wooden desk in front of her. “Who would I be telling?”

“Mister Nair or Madame Bennet, from the Ministry of Magic. And of course, if you would like anyone else to stay.”

“Um...” Lily deliberated. She really didn’t want to tell everyone this at all, but it was very clear that Harry was not willing to cooperate. “Can you stay?”

Professor McGonagall was the only one Lily felt like she could trust.

“Of course, Miss Potter. Would you rather have Mister Nair or Madame Bennet collect your testimony?” With this sentence, she motioned everyone to get out of the room. They complied, but only because this was such a serious situation.

“Come along, Mister Potter,” Snape said in his drawling voice, and Lily was suddenly glad that she had the right to kick Snape out. He was just _weird_ around her. She felt empathy for Harry, who was dragged out of Dumbledore’s office against his will by the Potions professor.

As this happened, Lily decided on Madame Bennet, who looked more like a kind woman, with her dumpy hat and big robes. But when she began speaking, it wasn’t at all what Lily expected.

“Name?” Madame Bennet said in a low voice.

“Lily Potter,” said Lily, confused.

“Your full name.” Professor McGonagall prompted. But Lily couldn’t give them an answer. She knew that her middle name was Luna, but was it the same in this life? She couldn’t be sure.

But they were expecting an answer. “I don’t know my middle name,” Lily said, quietly. “I...I guess I have one, don’t I? I didn’t even know my name was Lily Potter until I was the only one left in the class without a present mark, in primary school.”

It was almost pitiful. Professor McGonagall reflected this on her face as she grew taken aback, “Your aunt and uncle didn’t tell you your name? Or did they refer to you by something else?”

Lily shifted through her memories. After a moment, she said, “Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia called Harry and me ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ until Harry turned eleven. Up until now, even, I think. ‘Those Potter Brats’ was also a popular contender.”

Madame Bennet and Professor McGonagall shook it off and the questions continued.

“Age?”

“Eleven.”

“Date of birth?”

“Er....”


	14. Kindly Now

 Come to think of it, Lily had no idea. In her first life, her birthday had been the 18th of October, 2008. The year would be obviously wrong... But what about the date? Was it the same?

“I don’t actually know that, either. They never acknowledged our birthdays.” The conversation was starting to become very uncomfortable, for Lily herself, and the two women who were also involved.

McGonagall quickly got up to shuffle through a cabinet, summoning what looked to be a folder.

“Lily Luna Potter,” The Professor read, her lips pursed, “Born the 18th of October, 1981.”

Lily counted in her head. “Oh. I’m twelve, then.”

Madame Bennett scratched that down. Lily thought about it: her name was the same, and so was the month and the day. Obviously, the year had been adjusted. 1981 meant that (supposedly) she had been a tiny newborn baby when her parents were murdered, only thirteen days old.

This realization came to her as her heart dropped like a stone. Lily and James Potter. A tragedy. It was really time she accepted things for as they were; Lily and James Potter were her parents. Harry Potter was her brother. She was twelve years old now, and it was November already. And Petunia Dursley and Vernon Dursley were her aunt and uncle, and they would pay for what they did to their own blood.

Barely holding back tears, Lily summoned that familiar Gryffindor courage and began to tell her story. But there were elements of it that weren’t really _her_. Tom Riddle was obviously twisting it every which way.

“The two years that Harry was at Hogwarts were the worst. He’d never been interested in Harry. In fact, both of them were glad that he was gone, and their treatment of me changed? Um, for example Petunia just seemed more curious about my schoolwork- the muggle schoolwork, of course.” Lily was speaking from the memories that she had in her head. They were like little vignettes, or moving Wizarding pictures, visually. But the knowledge, and the information was more like stuff that she’s known her whole life. Yeah. Her Aunt Petunia had started to become more civil to her after Harry left for Hogwarts. She could visualise those days after school had let out when Aunt Petunia would be peeling carrots in the kitchen, and also speaking to both children, not just her precious Diddie-Dums. Dudley in his Smeltings uniform and Lily wearing new clothes for once. Little dresses, things that nine-year-olds wore. As she had been when Harry left for his first year at Hogwarts.

“But it wasn’t all friendly-like, it was just because Harry was gone. Everyone always says he looks like our dad, my Aunt Petunia never forgot to remind us that she hated him. But I look like my mum, so with that reminder gone, I guess it was natural for her, in her mind, to treat me better?” Tom’s silver tongue served as her rationalisation. And it continued, “I don’t mean to blame Harry for anything, no. But it’s just a solid fact that he looks like our dad. But I still had to do the washing up, and make breakfast, and do all the gardening.”

“Those seem like perfectly normal household chores,” muttered Madame Bennett as the quill wrote all of this down.

“Sorry, I didn’t make that clear.” Lily said. “Harry and I have had to make breakfast and coffee for the Dursleys since he was five and I was three. I couldn’t help much, but I tried. And if we did it wrong, they locked us in the cupboard and we got no meals. Say, if we burned the bacon, or something.”

“Alright,” considered Bennett, “And did this continue when you got older?”

“Yes.”

More quill scratching. “And where did you sleep, Miss Potter?” McGonagall questioned, looking agitated. “Tell us about that.”

“ _I_ am doing the questioning here, Minerva,” Bennett said stiffly, “How long were you locked in this, cupboard?”

“Yes, cupboard.” Lily nodded. “Sometimes they forgot about us until the morning, if we were put in there at lunch. This was where we slept after all, in the cupboard under the stairs. That’s what our Hogwarts letters were addressed to, I would have thought that whoever wrote them would notice, er-”

“The Hogwarts register is automated and the letters are conjured by magic,” clarified McGonagall, her face a tad whiter.

“Oh, so you wouldn’t have known. That’s good, I think. I mean, that it’s not your fault. Not that it was good.” Lily knew that they were getting off topic, and caught in the smaller details.

“...So what about the club? The special club that your uncle talked about.” Bennett was reading from a piece of parchment, obviously unsympathetic.

“I was nine.” Lily’s voice became weighted, and all of a sudden not easy-going, not able to talk about it. The little things were easier to hide behind. The cupboard, the chores, the general mistreatment.

_We’re the only members._

_No one will ever have what we have._

_Magic isn’t real. Magic isn’t real._

“He came home from work one day really angry. And he asked me things, that I didn’t really understand. Then, when I didn’t understand and I told him this, he asked if I wanted to play with him. A game, he said.” Lily stared at the floor, instead of the casual air she had before. “And then I asked him, why couldn’t he play this game with Dudley? But he said he wouldn’t and that it was a game only for him and me.”

There were tears. “And this game we played. It was a game one day and a club the next. But I wasn’t allowed to say anything, he said that it was something that Aunt Petunia, Dudley, and Harry would be very, very jealous of if I did. And he told me ‘well we wouldn’t want that, would we?’ and was very nice about the whole thing. Until it wasn’t nice. Until it became not nice.”

Lily looked up a tad, just to check whether they were still listening. Because she was lost in this world, inside these vignettes her mind held. And no matter how much she said to herself, _this wasn’t me. This didn’t happen. I don’t remember it happening,_ the paradox of did it? had it? came into play.

“And then he started telling me that Petunia wouldn’t play this game with him anymore. So this was why he was playing it with me. I knew it was wrong, they taught us about it in school, it went on for _months_ and I didn’t want to play with him anymore. It was scary, it was so scary and it only stopped when Aunt Petunia came back from her gardening club holiday. When Harry came back from Hogwarts. But it was worse, then, I think.”

Professor McGonagall looked livid, and Lily could almost feel the magic in the air around her crackle, like electricity. Madame Bennett was starting to see that her job wasn’t so boring after all, real things happened, and they were terrible things. Bennett’s quill ran as fast as Lily could speak, which wasn’t very fast because she was so tired.

“It started off almost reasonable, I think Uncle Vernon told me something like ‘if I get to touch you, you get to touch me.’ But I was afraid of him and if I didn’t, well...I didn’t know what he could do. It had gone unspoken. I wasn’t, I- I tried... I mean, I said-” Lily was crying, the rest of her story falling short of what she had wanted to originally tell.

“Miss Potter-”           

“-Potter? Miss Potter, we need to know how far it went.” Bennett was saying, and Lily wasn’t listening.

“Miss Potter?”

“Madame Bennett, I think it would be best if Miss Potter ceased her verbal testimony and we had Albus extract a few memories instead,” McGonagall cut in, “She is no doubt tired. That would serve enough for the Ministry, hm?”

Madame Bennett looked scandalised. “The use of a pensieve is not protocol,” she began, but one icy glare from McGonagall had her mumbling her last sentence, “for...cases involving... muggles...”

“Professor McGonagall?” asked Lily, straining to hear their conversation. “What’s going to happen to the Dursleys? Are they going to go to Azkaban? What about Dudley? What’s going to happen to him?”

She was really panicking now. She hadn’t meant for Dudley to lose his parents. What had Tom been saying? Dudley was an awful kid, but he didn’t deserve that. No one deserved that.

“The line between muggle and magical law is carefully drawn,” Professor McGonagall told Lily, very gently, “So it is safe to say that your guardians will not be going to Azkaban. But they will serve time in the muggle world. I’m not sure you understand, Potter, what they’ve done to you and your brother. It was absolutely wrong, among many more words I can use to describe the acts that they committed. I want you to know that we are trying our best to get them behind bars.”

But that wasn’t the reassurance that Lily wanted to hear. As Madame Bennett got up to leave, Lily just stared at the desk. And she put her head down and wept.

As she was shaking, Riddle came to the forefront of her mind. He never exactly talked to her when she was awake, but it was a constant struggle to push him out. In fact, if she were to have a conversation with the Boy in the Library, it would go like this:   
  
_I'm trying to help you, Lily. Think of how much we have in common! Come and read a new book with me._

And Lily would cry and say no.

 _Oh, Lily. The adults need to know. I'm only looking out for you, it's only right. But you should really give me something in return.  
_ And Lily would say that he was lying. He was enchanting her. 

_Lily-_

And she would scream and cry but the library was empty.

 _I'm teaching you all kinds of spells, Lily. You should be grateful. I'm helping you out of your aunt and uncle's._  
  
And people said that this piece of Voldemort's soul combined with her worst memories. Lily would never feel right again.

_If I'd had someone to help me out of that dreadful orphanage, I'd have thanked them for it.  
  
_ _Say thank you._

_I'd thank you for protecting_ me _._


	15. Too Sure on the Sun

All Lily could do at the moment was cry. She was always crying, really, but this time it was for something real. She didn’t know if what she’d just done was the right thing. It was the selfish thing, that was for sure.

The feeling of the chair being pulled around and someone trying to hug her made Lily jerk in surprise, still hyperventilating, of course. She moved her hair from where it was sticking to her face and saw that it was Harry. She should have known, but it was startling.

Lily gazed at her brother’s face, trying to sort out her emotions. Pulling her knees up, (as if they would protect her) she just buried her face and wrapped her arms around herself. She was too upset to consider whether Harry was angry with her or not. She was certainly angry enough with herself.

Now, the Ministry would make this a huge deal, possibly get her guardians thrown into Azkaban, (muggle jail, yeah right. Harry being who he is would spark a huge outcry from the wizarding community, predictably) and what? For something she didn’t even experience, but she could remember. It made her confused and scared and angry, and to top it all off, Tom Riddle could pop in whenever he felt like it. He could influence how she acted, she had no control anymore. She needed to get rid of that Horcrux, _now._

And where would she and Harry go, if the Dursleys were arrested? What about the blood wards, if that were even true (because why wouldn’t her father have been able to leave Before?), what was going to happen?

Lily didn’t like not knowing.

* * *

On Monday, Lily forced herself to return to the noise and bustle of the main school, where she thought about other things, like Charms and Potions. Snape was still as weird as ever, as were the other staff now, because everyone knew her secret.

But somehow, it hadn’t gotten to the students of Hogwarts, yet. Nobody looked at her any differently, except maybe Demelza, who was always very friendly and a touch empathetic. Lily lied and told her that she was fine. But that night, there was a chocolate frog sitting on her bed. As if Lily wasn’t okay.

Which she was, now, ignoring the Pettigrew problem and the diadem. She’d been keeping Scabbers stunned and in a body-bind since October, and it was the middle of November, now. Oops.

Lily had been feeding him, kind of. More like shoving food into an open, tiny flap in the locked cage, and then giving him five minutes before putting him in a body-bind again. She was getting too paranoid about Scabbers getting out, it’s not like he isn’t capable.

“Hey Lily!”

Two hands on her shoulders (always with the startling, wasn’t it?) made her stop in her tracks. She was in the Charms corridor, and the place was filled with people.

The hands belonged to not one person, but two. Fred and George stood behind her, identical grins on their faces.

“Yes?” Lily said calmly, and waited for a response. When there wasn’t one, and the twins were just standing there, grinning, she started, “Well, I’ve got Charms, so-”

One of them nodded, “We know! We were just checking on our icklest Potty, y’know-”

“-It’s customary.”

“No pranks or anything, we promise! Just a good ol’-”

“-Check-in from the hearts and souls of Gred and Forge.”

Lily smiled thinly. She stared and said simply, “That’s nice. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be late, so...” But then she spotted something in (Fred’s?) hands.

“What’s that?” Lily said innocently.

Fred quickly hid it behind his back, and masked it incredibly well. “Nothing at all,” he said, bearing a face of mild fake interest, “Anything to see here, Georgie?”

“Nope.”

“Is it a map?” Lily asked. “It looked like a map.”

“No, not a map, nothing here!” said George as he grabbed the Marauder’s Map from Fred, “See?”

“Spare bit of parchment,” clarified Fred. “Many essays to do, you know.”

The corridor was beginning to clear. Lily suddenly had an idea, one that would help her out with a certain rat-related-problem.

“Oh,” said Lily. “Well, if you don’t have class right now, I was hoping to take this to Ron. I don’t know where he is, but I found his rat by the fire in the Gryffindor common room. You see, I feel like some seventh years were about to sacrifice him for their NEWTS! I’m so glad I rescued him.” She then handed the cage to Fred and George, hoping that she wasn’t making a huge mistake. “Can you give this to Ron?”

The twins gave her one look, and then they exchanged one between each other.

“....Alright, ickle Potty.”

“We’ll deliver the rat to our brother, you mark my words! On George’s life!”

“No, on Fred’s!”

“Wait,” Lily called, and the ginger-haired twins turned around. “I- Can I ask you two a serious question?”

The corridor was completely empty now, and Lily was bound to be late. Oh well. Professor Flitwick would understand.

“Sure, ickle Lilykins. Anything you need!” said George.

“Firstie drama-”

“-Plotting pranks-”

“-A botched potion-”

“We’ve heard it all! Now what’s your question?” Fred asked.

Lily paused. She had a vague plan in mind on how this was going to work. But it was really important that the twins open the Map, and find that their brother’s rat was really Pettigrew. Honestly, it was kind of weird that they never noticed it before. Maybe they never cared to look.

“Has Harry mentioned anything to Ron or you guys about- about Sirius Black?” Lily asked, trying to sound unsure. “He won’t tell me anything, but I overheard him and Hermione and Ron talking about it. About how he’s after the two of us.”

Fred and George were paying attention, suddenly serious. Good.

“And, I thought,” continued Lily, taking a what-can-you-do? approach, “That it’s kind of a rude thing to do, not to tell me that he’s after me? Considering that I looked him up in an old _Daily Prophet_ in the library and he supposedly already killed thirteen muggles and a wizard called Peter Pettigrew.”

The twins stared back at her, both equally disturbed. But that expression didn’t last for long, after all, they were the Weasley Twins. After a moment, one of them responded.

Fred shrugged, “Can’t help you there, Lily. Ickle Harry’s been in a mood, lately, hasn’t he, George?”

“Mmhm,” nodded George, “Nearly took my head off at Quidditch practice.”

“Well, he won’t tell me anything,” said Lily. “So if you know anything, that’d be nice. Anyway, I’m kind of super late, so do you mind?”

They moved out of the way.

“Oh, and you don’t have to tell Ron it was me who found Scabbers,” said Lily. “They’ve got a free period right now, you can go find him and make up for that prank you pulled.”

“Which one?” They grinned.

Lily grinned back. “I knew there had to be at least _one.”  
_

* * *


	16. The Map

Fred watched the little first-year wander off to Charms class before taking a look at the cage she’d just given him.

“Strange kid,” said George as Fred opened the tiny flap at the top. The rat appeared to be sleeping. Fred didn’t necessarily agree with his twin, that Lily was strange, but there was something in her voice that didn’t seem right.

“It’s sleeping.” Fred said, poking at the flap to get it shut. “Eh, well. Let’s just take it to Ron before we run into another firstie.”

“Do you think it’s strange, though?” George was frowning as he unlocked the Marauder’s Map, “How she’s always hanging around Harry. Not even _Ginny_ was that clingy last year.”

“Well, remember that we know why Ginny wasn’t clingy.” Fred reminded him. “But no, I don’t think so. They’ve only got each other. Makes sense why they’re so close.”

Fred pulled the Map closer to himself, looking for the shimmering name that was _Ron Weasley_. But he was distracted by something else, catching _Fred Weasley_ and _George Weasley_ hovering near the Charms corridor. In the opposite classroom, there were dozens of names, all lapping over one another. He couldn’t read them. But there was a third name in between them.

“That’s odd,” said Fred, frowning. “Hey, George, look at this.”

He handed the Map back to his twin, walking a few feet away and depositing the rat cage on the ground. It was a solid, dark green, with a few holes for air. But you couldn’t see what was inside unless the top flap was open.

“What, Fred?”

Fred pointed the third name out on the Map. They looked at each other, before saying, “Pets aren’t supposed to show up on the Map, are they?”

* * *

In Charms, the first-years were working on the Softening Charm, or the more commonly known incantation of _Spongify._ Lily personally thought that this spell was useless, for they were only practicing on hard, small square tiles. The end result was supposed to be something along the lines of squishy clay, but not slime, because that was wrong.

Lily rolled around her clay on the desk for the better part of an hour. Professor Flitwick had been expectedly sympathetic when she had presented her excuse, and showed her now-squishy tile off to the class when she’d been around the first to have done it.

Tom’s fault, for that one, she guessed. If Lily had entered Hogwarts as a normal first-year, without the Horcrux diadem, things would be a lot better. Her practical work was soaring with Riddle’s influence, however, but she was tired and emotional most of the time to do a good job on her written work. For example, the Charms essay that was due on Monday? She’d forgotten about it. But Flitwick had accepted it late today.

When Charms let out, it was lunchtime. Lily wandered alone to the Great Hall, where she found Harry, Hermione, and Ron sitting quietly. They were obviously discussing something. Harry was whispering to the two of them across the table when Hermione and Ron saw her, motioning for Harry to turn around. Harry did, and shut his mouth.

“Hello, Lily,” greeted Hermione, and Lily sat down next to her brother, pulling together a sandwich on her plate. Although she wasn’t particularly interested.

“Hi,” Lily said back. She was feeling slightly on edge, looking up and down the Gryffindor table to her left and to her right. She couldn’t see the twins. Had they figured it out, yet?

She looked across to the Slytherin table, where Draco Malfoy was doing spirited imitations of someone falling off a broom. Lily had almost forgotten the Quidditch match on Friday, after all that had happened. She watched Harry to gauge his reaction, her hand tightening on her fork.

“Ignore him, Harry,” said Lily. Hermione and Ron turned around.

“You should have seen him in Potions this morning,” said Hermione with a casual indifference. “He was a lot worse, there.”

“Yeah, cost us fifty points from Gryffindor,” glared Ron, suddenly ruder.

“What happened?” laughed Lily, knowing it had something to do with Malfoy.

"Ron lobbed a crocodile heart at Malfoy, Snape saw.”

“Oh. Ha!”

Ron spoke agitatedly, “You shut it. I swear, if Snape’s teaching Defense again, I’m skiving off.”

“Oh,” Lily realised, “Oh, I forgot he was.” Last Friday, Snape had been teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, and he was just as scary to the first-years as he was in Potions. “He assigned us one roll of parchment about different ways to treat werewolf bites.”

“Did you do it?” Hermione interrogated worriedly, and when Lily shook her head, she grew concerned. But more for Lily’s grades.

“Oh no! We were assigned _two_ rolls of parchment and everyone I’ve asked says they haven’t done it!” Hermione said.

“He’s not even the real teacher, he can’t assign us homework,” complained Ron. “Professor Lupin better be back or I’m not going.”

“You can’t just skive off!” Hermione argued.

“If it’s Snape, yes we can, Hermione,” interjected Harry.

Ron moaned. “Snape twice in one day! I won’t go.”

Lily didn’t envy them. As the three left, off to Defense Against the Dark Arts, Lily stayed put at the Gryffindor table. She didn’t have anywhere to be, then. It was later in the day than usual, and the first-years had a bit of a break.  
  
But about ten minutes later, she saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione come back into the hall, looking very confused. And confused was not a good look on Hermione.

“I haven’t gotten the schedule _wrong_ ,” she was saying, “We have Defense on Mondays, always. How could it have just been cancelled?”

Lily stood up to meet them, seeing no teachers at the head table. Commonly, only a few teachers would end up in the Great Hall for lunch, mainly overseeing that the students didn’t become unruly.

“Why have you just come back?” Lily asked them, but she feared that she already knew the answer.

“Professor Lupin wasn’t there!” said Hermione. “But neither was Professor Snape. Should we go to Professor McGonagall and tell her he’s not there?”

Harry looked like he was about to answer, but a loud announcement (in the form of a _Sonorus_ ) interrupted him.

“Attention all students.” It was the voice of Professor Dumbledore. “Please kindly return to your dormitories. Prefects, please make sure no one has gone amiss, for I will know.”

And just like that, the voice was gone.

“Uh oh,” said Lily, but on the inside, she felt anything but _uh oh._ They'd done it. The twins had done it.


	17. Believe It (or Not)

Lily, Harry, Hermione, and Ron followed instructions (for once), returning to Gryffindor Tower, where inside was chaos. Percy Weasley, Head Boy, was standing on the top of the stairs to the dormitories, yelling names and no one was listening. Lily overheard many people’s theories as to what would cause such a commotion, like cancelling lessons in the middle of the day.

“D’you think it’s Sirius Black again?” wondered Ron. The group was standing by the portrait door, the common room too full to stand anywhere else.

“Maybe.” Harry said.

Lily looked around for Fred and George, but could not find them. She was a mix between anxious and guilty, after suffering the initial _“YES! YES! I DID IT!”_ feeling.

Percy, in the meantime, had given up trying to yell at everyone and was now interrogating random groups of students.

“Ron! Ron!” He said, brandishing a piece of parchment, “Have you seen Fred or George anywhere?”

Ron shook his head, “No.”

The four then exchanged glances with each other.

“Any of you?” puffed Percy, clearly crazed with counting every student in Gryffindor tower.

“No.”

“No,” said Harry.

“I saw them!” said Lily, feeling it was good to bring it up, “I saw them before Charms, in the morning. I gave them Ron’s rat, I found him in the common room, but I had class.”

“You found Scabbers?” Ron turned on Lily, dangerously, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I meant to,” Lily grew quieter, “It slipped my mind.”

“But- but-” Ron’s volume was obviously louder than necessary, “Hermione’s cat killed him! We saw the blood on the sheets.”

“I _told_ you it wasn’t Crookshanks!” interjected Hermione, crossing her arms. “See, Ronald? Scabbers is alive!”

Percy was watching the debate with moving eyes. “And you’re sure you haven’t seen Fred and George since then?” He talked to Lily directly.

“Yes! I gave them Scabbers and then I went to Charms.”

“Do you think they’re in trouble, Percy?” asked Harry, “What’s going on? Has it got something to do with Black?”

Percy stuck his chest out, “The teachers haven’t told the Prefects anything. You would think that as Head Boy, I would be informed, but...”

“Okay, thanks, Perce.” Ron said, obviously not wanting to hear his brother prattle on about his Head Boyship. They walked away from Percy, Ron sank into a chair, and Harry and Hermione crowded around it. Lily sat on the floor below it, being the only space available.

And the only thing left to do was to wait. The rest of Gryffindor tower eventually ran out of gossip to spread around, so it became relatively quiet. Most of the upper years pulled out books and homework to revise with, the end of first term being just around the corner.

It was later realised that Fred and George were the only ones missing. The possibility of a massive prank resulting in their expulsion was discussed, but Lily hoped that they had just gone to a teacher (preferably Lupin, because then they wouldn’t have to turn in the Map) and reported Pettigrew. He was already trapped, after all.

It was dinnertime before tables full of food appeared, meant for the students. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Lily all took plates, and everyone sat down again to wait. But there was nothing.

Finally, the portrait door opened to reveal Professor McGonagall, Fred, and George, who shuffled in rather unlike the pranksters Lily knew. She felt a stab of guilt before McGonagall cleared her throat to speak.

“Students,” she said. “It has come to our attention by way of two Gryffindor students that a very dangerous criminal has been taking asylum at Hogwarts. As such, the suspect has been apprehended, all thanks to Mister Weasley and Mister Weasley. The staff are continuing to investigate but no more information will be shared tonight. The Headmaster would like to thank each and every one of you for your cooperation as we move forward. No one may be allowed out of the tower tonight, as it is now curfew...”

McGonagall’s speech contained a lot more instructions than Lily cared to listen to, because she already knew which criminal had been caught.

“Professor! Was it Black?” A random Gryffindor from the upper-years called out. Each of the students in the common room looked shaken in some way, something Professor McGonagall noticed, because she answered.

“No, it was not. Sirius Black is still at large, and as of now, considered dangerous.”

“What do you mean by ‘as of now?’” Harry blurted, his brow creased.

“I am not at liberty to discuss this with you, Potter. Now, everyone! Bed!” McGonagall said sternly, and the common room burst into noise. Some students trudged up to bed willingly, but some didn’t.

“Now!” McGonagall spoke again.

“But-” Harry protested, Ron and Hermione behind him.

“Bed, Potter.”

Harry then decided somehow that it wasn’t worth it, and left. Ron followed him, and Hermione headed to the opposite stairwell.

“Professor?” Lily asked, hanging behind. The common room was still clearing.

Professor McGonagall regarded her, and Lily knew that this was the Professor that she was closest to. The one that knew the most about her. Her mother had been her favourite student, her dead mother. And Lily was the most similar to Minerva’s favourite student, Lily had the same name, with ginger hair, but not Weasley red.

It was such a tease, really. Harry looked like James, but with his mother’s eyes. And Lily Luna looked like Lily, but with James Potter’s eyes. Brown. Even though they were the same as Ginny Weasley’s, but no one seemed to make that connection.

“Yes, Lily?” McGonagall appeared very white, and tired.

“What happened?” Lily hoped she could be reassured. So Pettigrew had been discovered, if Sirius hadn’t been caught. She just wanted to be sure.

McGonagall gave her a rare, gentle smile. “I expect you’ll hear about it tomorrow in the paper, Lily. Only Circe knows how newsworthy this will be to the Ministry. Now, bed.”

The first-year tilted her head, “But if I’m going to hear about it in the paper, why can’t I know now?”

McGonagall’s expression didn’t change. “Bed.”

Lily sighed. “Okay.” It would only be a night’s sleep. A horrid one, running from Tom Riddle in the library. Her disappointment showed on her face, and McGonagall sighed as well at that.

“Bed, Lily.”

As Lily meandered up the Girl’s Staircase to her dormitory, Minerva collapsed into a chair by the fire, very odd for a Head of House, she knew. But it had been a very long, very taxing day.

A bubble of hope emerged from Minerva’s chest, somewhere deep down. Everything would be right for the Potter children, and their futures. After today’s events, they would have a home, a Godfather that loved them, and they would never have to go back to those _wicked_ Dursleys ever again.

Minerva was a true lion, and her cubs would be protected. But first, she had to find Sirius Black.


	18. What Comes Next?

Lily was running. She dreamt of the Library every night, now. Tom Riddle, depending on his mood, would be either friendly, or menacing. They would read books sometimes, but not always. Other times, they played tag through the endless, white shelves. The shelves were starting to become detailed, now, rather than the pure whiteness they used to be. And everything seemed clearer, the Library more and more alive every time Lily dreamed of it.

Tonight, she heard Riddle’s voice behind her, shouting “I’m coming! I’m coming to get you!” as they ran. Lily ran for ten more minutes, never tiring, for this was a dream. But Tom caught up to her, taking hold of her shoulders. “Caught you,” he said. His white teeth were the same colour as the library shelves.

“So McGonagall wouldn’t tell you who they found?” Riddle and Lily were sitting, now, on the floor against a bookshelf. Lily didn’t say anything as she read her book about Charms.

“No,” she said. “But I know it was Pettigrew.”

“Hmm,” Riddle said, smiling, “I wonder if it was.”

Lily frowned, starting straight at him. “You didn’t _do_ anything, did you?” She asked, suspiciously.

But Riddle was nonchalant. “What can I do?” He put his hands up, “I’m simply a memory in your dreams.”

Lily didn’t push it, she didn’t want to provoke him. Spenting time dubiously with Riddle was keeping her dreams relatively peaceful, after all. Not like when she was running. Because now that she’d given up, he was friendly to her again. Not scary.

_Not scary._

“Okay,” she said, going back to her book.

Riddle looked over her shoulder. “Ah, you’re reading up on Protective Charms. An important subject, I’d daresay.” His grin was charming, always charming. Lily hated everything about it.

“I would say so, yes,” Lily responded, carefully but not looking up.

“Of course it is,” said Riddle. “Why don’t you try the Shield Charm again? I’d be happy to duel with you.”

Lily was tired. “I’m not really in the mood for a duel, Tom.”

Riddle seemed to still be in a good mood. “But I insist.”

“No.”

“Lily-”

“No!” Lily said firmly, closing the book.

“Okay.” Riddle said, swallowing his anger, “Okay.”

In these moments, the Boy in the Library seemed so human. Lily had noticed him not trying to get angry with her lately, she wondered why. But Tom rarely shared anything about himself.

“Are the Dementors still on the grounds?” He inquired.

“Yes,” Lily said, as if he were stupid. She was annoyed with him. He should be screaming at her. He should be scaring her. Why was he so eerily calm?

“And Professor Lupin said he would teach Harry the Patronus Charm? Why don’t _you_ ask him as well?”

“Why are you bringing this up?” Lily asked, uneasy.

Riddle’s expression became easy-going. “Because I’m curious about your life, that’s all, Lily. You would benefit from the teaching, too.”

“Really?” Lily was just encouraging him, at this point. She just had to get through the night. “And why can’t you teach me, Tom?”

He looked sad. “Because I’m only a memory, Lily.”

“But you can teach me _how_ , right?”

Tom Riddle sighed, for the first time this night. It had been all smiles and grins, before. What did he want?

“I know _how_ to perform the spell, Lily Luna. But...” It was as if he were pouting. “You need a really happy memory. A good one. I can’t do it...without a wand.”

And so Lily reluctantly handed Tom her wand, and the memory tried the spell. It didn’t work. Whether it was on purpose or not, Tom didn’t seem vexed.

“Here,” Riddle purred, “You try.”

Lily had performed spells before, in her dreams. It was one of the reasons why her practical work was so good. Lily knew that this Horcrux-induced dream was much more than what it was, because why else would it work?

The dreams gave her power. Knowledge. The Diadem worked in her favour, did it not? It was a good thing, for now. And eventually, Lily knew, she would have to get rid of it.

 _But you don’t want to get rid of me, do you?_ Tom’s voice was there, but the boy didn’t speak. _You want me. You desire my intellect._

And when Lily thought of her happiest memory, six hours of trying later, she smiled at Tom Riddle.

The Diadem was full of knowledge, and power. He was only trying to help.

 _I am only trying to help you._            

* * *

 

The next morning, Lily awoke feeling magically exhausted. Perhaps she had pushed herself too far, last night? But it didn’t matter, anyway, because Tom had showed her how to do the _Patronus Charm_. Even though she suspected that he couldn’t do it himself. All Lily would have to do would be to practice a lot in the daytime, and she could maybe use the Room of Requirement for that? Just in case. She didn’t want to be accidentally soulless if she came across another Dementor.

And Lily was scared. She didn’t want to relive her worst memories, all of which included Vernon and the Dursleys. _Lily was scared._

As long as she was careful, as long as _Lily_ got the right use out of _Tom_ , she felt like it was alright. She didn’t have to get rid of the Diadem, yet. He was teaching her.

Protecting her.

Lily got dressed early and arrived in the Great Hall, where only a few students were eating already. Harry, Ron, and Hermione soon arrived after, discussing who the Dumbledore could have possibly caught.

But there was nothing in the Prophet until a week from then.

**Peter Pettigrew Found Alive! Admits Guilt Under Truth Serum! BLACK INNOCENT!**

By Rita Skeeter

_Huge Ministry Blunder! Peter Pettigrew, age 33, has been found alive after being declared dead. When asked about his whereabouts for the last twelve years, he admitted to being in hiding. But he was found to have been disguised as an unregistered Animagus, bearing the Dark Mark. As a result of this issue, an emergency meeting of the Wizengamont was called by Chief Warlock, Albus Dumbledore. A trial was quickly ordered along by Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge, where Pettigrew was questioned and indicted for being an unregistered Animagus, which upon conviction, imprisons the individual for up to ten years in Azkaban. The presence of a Dark Mark also bears the sentence of up to life in Azkaban, with conviction. This law was enacted fourteen years ago at the height of the war, as many readers of the Prophet may remember._

_Pettigrew was interrogated under the Truth Serum, also known as Veritaserum. Under this potion, he admitted to becoming a Death Eater thirteen years ago, blowing up a street which resulted in the death of thirteen muggles, and faking his own death, a crime in which was thought to be committed by “Notorious Mass Murderer” Sirius Black. But upon further inspection of Ministry records, reporters have found no evidence of Black ever RECIEVING a trial. The man responsible, Bartimus Crouch, Sr., Head of Magical Law Enforcement in 1981, has been arrested by authorities._

_For a full report of the Pettigrew’s trial, see page 3._

 

It had a truly long headline, but Lily was of the opinion that it gets the point across. She even got to read the newspaper alone, with everyone having just left for the Winter holidays- Lily was grateful that Malfoy, at least, had gone home- she didn’t fancy hearing anything horrid he could come up with when Lily was just so damn happy. For once, it seemed as though her plans were falling into place.

But her good mood was spoiled as Harry, Ron, and Hermione made their way to sit down around her. Lily immediately schooled her expression into something less assuming. She wasn’t supposed to know that Sirius was innocent, after all.

“You really don’t look well, you know,” Hermione was saying, peering anxiously at Harry’s face as she put together a sandwich for herself from everything on the table.

“I’m fine,” said Harry.

“Harry, listen,” Lily watched curiously as Hermione began, exchanging a look with Ron, “you must be really upset about what we heard yesterday. But the thing is, you mustn’t go doing anything stupid.”

“Like what?” said Harry.

“Like trying to go after Black,” said Ron sharply.

It was almost as if Hermione and Ron had rehearsed this conversation. But Lily didn’t say anything, folding the newspaper in her lap. She wasn’t sure if she should show them, yet. It looked like they all needed to get a few things off their chests.

“You won’t, will you, Harry?” said Hermione.

“Because Black’s not worth dying for,” said Ron. Lily almost cut in here, but Harry looked strangely... off.

“D’you know what I see and hear every time a dementor gets too near me?” Her older brother stared at all of them equally, and Ron and Hermione shook their heads, looking apprehensive. Lily looked down at the table intentionally. Swirls of memories were breaking close to the surface of her mind, now- memories of the Dursleys that she didn’t quite remember but she also couldn’t quite forget. She shoved them away and carefully cleared her mind. As she did this, Harry continued to speak, which made it harder for her. “I can hear my mum screaming and pleading with Voldemort. And if you’d heard your mum screaming like that, just about to be killed, you wouldn’t forget it in a hurry. And if you found out someone who was supposed to be a friend of hers betrayed her and sent Voldemort after her-”

“There’s nothing you can do!” said Hermione, looking stricken. “The dementors will catch Black and he’ll go back to Azkaban and- and serve him right!”

Lily’s face felt hot. She wiped the corners of her eyelids, but her hands were shaking. “Uh-”

“You heard what Fudge said,” Harry pressed on, “Black isn’t affected by Azkaban like normal people are. It’s not a punishment for him like it is for the others.”

“Harry-” Lily kept trying to get his attention, but Ron, all of a sudden, looked very tense.

“So what are you saying?” The ginger-haired boy said, licking his lips and looking up and down the empty Gryffindor table- a few students from the other houses were trickling in, now, being the only students staying for the holidays. “You want to- to kill Black or something?”

“Don’t be silly,” said Hermione in a panicky voice. “Harry doesn’t want to kill anyone, do you, Harry?”

All three kids looked at Harry. Again, Harry didn’t answer. Lily thought that this might be a good time to stop the conversation while it was ahead, but she was undoubtedly interested in how Harry felt about Sirius. Of course, he had no idea he hadn’t done all those things, yet, and Lily was nervous that he’d just rip up the Daily Prophet and storm away.

“Malfoy knows,” Harry said abruptly. “Remember what he said to me in Potions? ‘If it was me, I’d hunt him down myself. ...I’d want revenge.’”

“You’re going to take Malfoy’s advice instead of ours?” said Ron furiously. “Listen...you know what Pettigrew’s mother got back after Black had finished with him? Dad told me- the Order of Merlin, First Class, and Pettigrew’s finger in a box. That was the biggest bit of him they could find. Black’s a madman, Harry, and he’s dangerous-”

“Malfoy’s dad must have told him,” said Harry, ignoring Ron. “He was right in Voldemort’s inner circle-”

“ _Say You-Know-Who, will you?_ ” interjected Ron angrily.

Lily had caught Hermione’s eye and was now trying to speak. “Uh, Harry? Guys?”

“-so obviously, the Malfoys knew Black was working for Voldemort-”

“-and Malfoy’d love to see you blown into about a million pieces, like Pettigrew! Get a grip. Malfoy’s just hoping you’ll get yourself killed before he has to play you at Quidditch.”

“Harry, _please_ ,” said Hermione, her eyes now shining with tears, “ _please_ be sensible. Black did a terrible, terrible thing, but d-don’t put yourself in danger, it’s what Black wants. ...Oh, Harry, you’d be playing right into Black’s hands if you went looking for him. Your mum and dad wouldn’t want you to get hurt, would they? They’d never want you to go looking for Black!”

“I’ll never know what they’d wanted, because thanks to Black, I’ve never spoken to them,” said Harry shortly.

Lily felt a sudden surge of anger and suddenly glared at all three of them. “Have _any_ of you actually bothered to read the paper this morning?” She said, and her words must have been unexpected, because they all looked up in shock.

Her eyes were watery as she sniffed, “I thought Fred and George would have told you by now, Ron,” thrusting the _“Pettigrew Found Alive! Black Innocent!”_ article across the table to Hermione. Lily watched her eyes bulge as the third-year digested the new information.

“Told me what?” Ron turned to her.

Lily blinked and stammered out a response, feeling locked up. “Scabbers. The criminal that they caught a week ago. He was hiding as an an- as an animagus. As _Scabbers,_ ” She tried to control her breathing as Hermione finished reading the article, the girl’s honeyed brown eyes pouring over every word.

Lily waited in silence, as her and the two boys looked to her from across the table.

The third-year Gryffindor took a deep breath before Lily watched her composure fall apart, as Hermione choked out the words.

“Black is innocent!”

 


	19. Sirius

The news of Sirius’ pardon was published the week before Christmas. Amelia Bones, current head of the DMLE, had done a full investigation into the matters of Peter Pettigrew, the thirteen muggles, and the arrest of Sirius, and the results practically guaranteed his freedom. It was official, this time.

Lily was beside herself with the news. Professor McGonagall had told her herself, in her office, where Lily was starting to visit frequently. She was starting to see Minerva more like an aunt, or even a somewhat motherly figure.

McGonagall had even told her that Sirius was Harry’s godfather, at least once he was pardoned. Lily already knew that but it was nice to have been given that information by McGonagall in the first place. She’d also been keeping Lily informed about the Dursley situation, meetings which always ended in tight hugs and tears on Lily’s end.

Harry and Lily would never have to go back to Privet Drive again. Harry still didn’t want to accept that the adults were there to help him, but they still didn’t _have_ to go back. That was an accomplishment, at least. _Baby steps_ , Lily thought often.

Dumbledore had ordered the Dementors to leave the grounds of Hogwarts. There had been resistance from Minister Fudge but eventually, he gave up. Lily guessed it had been because he was let in on the full details of Pettigrew’s survival.

But even with the Dementors gone, Sirius was nowhere to be found. Lily was a little more than slightly worried about this, because her plan was all riding on Sirius appearing before the end of the school year. Even though she didn’t know him at all, Lily guessed that after twelve years of Azkaban he would not be suited to take care of her and Harry. She was uneasy and unsure about how they would meet or when.  
  
The Christmas break disappeared quite eventfully, regarding to the trial, but not without tears. And one day in the middle of January, Lily and Harry were brought to a very special meeting.

It was in Dumbledore’s office, a place that she still hadn’t grown used to, but she was getting there.

Inside, there was a very much alive and clean-shaven Sirius Black, looking very different from the photographs in the newspapers. His hair was still long, but it had been cut and washed. He wasn’t so skeletal as Lily imagined him being, someone had been keeping him well fed. Professor Lupin was also sitting in a squashy purple arm chair, conjured by Dumbledore. They were conversing casually, as if they’d been doing so for a while. It didn’t look like a very emotional reunion.

But when the door was opened by McGonagall to reveal Lily and her brother, they stopped talking. And Lupin smiled at the kids’ expressions of surprise.

“Harry, Lily, why don’t you two sit?”

Two more armchairs were conjured out of thin air by McGonagall. So not Dumbledore, then. Where was he?

Lily was the first to sit down, but Harry was more reluctant. Unsure. Lily had experienced these feelings _way_ before the meeting and was just wanting it to happen.

“I think I owe you ten galleons, Remus,” Sirius spoke. His voice was something unexpected, deep and baritone but not scratchy from misuse. Lily didn’t know how long he’d been in a comfortable place for, but it had been some time.

“Why is that?” asked Lupin, mildly.

“I remember you guessing Baby Luna would have James’ eyes. I thought she’d have Lily’s.”

“Baby Luna?” Lily asked, interested.

“It was what we called you when you were a baby.” Lupin smiled. “You were born on the night of the full moon. James and Lily hadn’t yet thought of a name for you, they were dead set on having your middle name be Lily, after all, Harry’s is James. Lily wanted you to be called Luna but didn’t like the sound of ‘Luna Lily Potter.’ Your mother was rather stubborn when she wanted to be,” he ended his explanation with a chuckle.

Lily simply stared back at Lupin, her eyes wide in fascination. Before she’d come here, to the past, she’d been named after one of her father’s very close friends, Luna Lovegood. But to hear this story, that James and Lily Potter had wanted her name to be Luna because she was born on the night of the full moon, was fascinating. She wondered exactly how much of it was real.

“Oh,” she managed, as she felt like any other words were currently stuck in her throat. Harry was silent beside her, taking it all in.

Professor Lupin smiled. “This might be a lot to take in. Why don’t we start from the beginning? Sirius?” He turned to the dark-haired man beside him.

Sirius introduced himself as Harry’s godfather, and was about to tell his story to the seemingly oblivious children, before Lily interrupted energetically and asked, “Harry has a godfather? Do I?”

“That would be me, I’m afraid,” Professor Lupin had the slightest hint of guilt in his eyes.

Lily’s expression crumpled. Her brow furrowing with confusion, she started, “Then why-”

“We’ll get to that part of the story later,” reassured Lupin. “Just know that I am so, incredibly sorry, from every part of my heart. Believe me when I say that I am so, so, sorry, Lily.” Lily tried to avoid his gaze that now openly shone with guilt. Instead, she looked to Sirius, who seemed almost confused. Did he really not know? Or was he pretending?

Lily looked down almost immediately when Sirius made eye contact. She could feel that sort of odd panic creeping up behind her- like Tom was watching over her shoulder. She looked quickly to Professor Lupin, as if he could reassure her in any way. But that trust had been broken.

Why did Professor Lupin leave them with the Dursleys, for twelve years, when he could have taken them both? Never mind that he was a werewolf. Lily didn’t give a damn. She knew that someone else had to have been behind this.

Her hands were shaking. Harry placed one of his own on hers as if to pacify her. He still hadn’t said anything, it was as if he were laying quiet and making his own assumptions, which wasn’t like him. It was then up to Lily to say, “Can we hear the story?”

And Sirius and Professor Lupin launched into the most grievously long tale she’d ever heard in her life. The story started around the time the Marauders boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time, and ended about when Sirius went after Pettigrew and was framed for murder. It took about two hours to detail the entire narrative. And when they were done, the men were sitting forward in their seats, gauging the children’s reactions.

Lily and Harry had been silent throughout the whole affair.          

“Well?” Professor Lupin said, almost nervously.

Lily looked down at the floor. “I think,” she said quietly, “I need- I’m sorry, I’m sorry, really, I have to go.”

And she got up from the chair she was sitting in, despite shouts from Sirius and Lupin, and ran from the office.

Lily ran, her panic overtaking her and because of that, ended up somewhere strange.  She’d never been to this part of the castle, before. And she had no idea where she was, no idea how she felt, or how to fix it.

She thought this was what she wanted! She wanted to never have to return to the Dursleys, it was all for Harry’s benefit, all of it. Sirius would come take them away and they’d all live happily ever after.

Tears were coming fast, but her breath was coming faster. She felt if her breaths came any faster that she’d pass out and hit the stone-cold floor. She couldn’t believe how everything had gone so wrong- she was nowhere near close to destroying the horcruxes because she had no idea how to destroy them. She had no idea what she was doing anyway- _stupid! stupid! stupid schoolgirl!_

Lily had no intention of getting help. She had no intention of telling anyone, ‘hello, I’m Lily, I’m both my aunt and my niece and I’m not sure which one, can you help me defeat Voldemort?’ They’d probably think Vernon finally broke her.

He was on her mind a lot these days. Tom, too. Except Tom was all her demons greeting her as a friend. _Oh, Lily, you know I’m trying to help, I got you this far, didn’t I? Now why don’t you collect all my friends for me and we can meet them, too?_

Tom knew her fears. Tom knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

But Lily was running out of time. Harry would be entering his fourth year at Hogwarts less than a year from now. She had the rest of this year and a few months after that to get rid of every horcrux, all by herself, before Voldemort returned.

And if she didn’t succeed in doing that? She might as well die. It was truly an impossible task.

 


End file.
